Hahaha ok I've been busy like super super busy these past few days and I just got home so I'll make it short.
(;
Just wishing you all a very blessed new year! Spend it all with swag(:
Its awesome to see "first Jan"
I kinda have to bathe nowwww.
Will blog later!
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Thursday, 29 December 2011
Cramps ):
I'm in school now and I don't have anything to do so yep. Blogging.
Haven't been blogging because I have been having lots and lots of dance practices. Once the Christmas season was over on like, the 27th, I have had a lot of practices.
And I ache everywhere. My butt and even my big toe.
And physical training today was horrible.
First we did 30 push-ups. Where you go down on the ground and push yourself back up, then we did 30 sit-ups which sucked like hell. 30 sit-ups used to be easy but we had like 2 weeks of slack soooo... Yeah.
Anyway. The small fact (#13?) is: you can't fake happiness. You can fake not being sad but you cannot fake happiness.
I mean, even if you're upset and you do all sorts of stuff to make you feel happy, you won't feel happy and it will show. You can fake not being sad however, just don't cry and don't zone out.
Yup.
Gotta go! Byeee
Haven't been blogging because I have been having lots and lots of dance practices. Once the Christmas season was over on like, the 27th, I have had a lot of practices.
And I ache everywhere. My butt and even my big toe.
And physical training today was horrible.
First we did 30 push-ups. Where you go down on the ground and push yourself back up, then we did 30 sit-ups which sucked like hell. 30 sit-ups used to be easy but we had like 2 weeks of slack soooo... Yeah.
Anyway. The small fact (#13?) is: you can't fake happiness. You can fake not being sad but you cannot fake happiness.
I mean, even if you're upset and you do all sorts of stuff to make you feel happy, you won't feel happy and it will show. You can fake not being sad however, just don't cry and don't zone out.
Yup.
Gotta go! Byeee
Monday, 26 December 2011
Song recommendation :D
By the way, since it's the christmas season, you should listen to a song that promotes it! Well.. That's how I feel (:
http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=SG#/watch?v=o_fWwl5qQgI
:DDD it's stuck in my head.
http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=SG#/watch?v=o_fWwl5qQgI
:DDD it's stuck in my head.
Merry late Christmas!
Hi!
Haven't blogged in a while(: had to go for Christmas parties 3 nights in a row so like.. Yup, no time to blog! ):
I would love to bore you with how great the food was at the party and the people there, blah blah blah...
But no.
I'm not going to do that. I hope you had a splendid Christmas! And if you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you had an eventful Christmas season regardless. :D
So.. In case you don't know, I'm from Singapore! And if you live in Europe, or America, or somewhere not near Southeast Asia, we're about.. An hour's drive away from Malaysia, and a 13 hour flight away from Europe. :D
And we are near the equator, so, summer all year round! Many of us don't get to celebrate a white Christmas! Isn't that sad? D:
Anyway, small fact of life #13? Lost track..
You can't undo what you've already done, but you can only change for the better.
Yeah. Corny or what.
But honestly. Life is a game of trial and error. Intelligent lucky ones get it right away.
But if you're a little, or very, slow like me, it takes a few hits.
/:
But the moment you stop trying to change for the better, your life is going to come to a standstill. What I mean by that is, your life will slow down into a repetitive cycle. Same sort of friends and the same sort of perspective and environment.. Yeah. "living in a rut" is an apt phrase.
Hmmm maybe I'll blog later. To make up for the drought. Well. Let's see my mood. :D
Merry merry Christmas!
And if you're not celebrating..
Uh, have a great day ahead! :D
Haven't blogged in a while(: had to go for Christmas parties 3 nights in a row so like.. Yup, no time to blog! ):
I would love to bore you with how great the food was at the party and the people there, blah blah blah...
But no.
I'm not going to do that. I hope you had a splendid Christmas! And if you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you had an eventful Christmas season regardless. :D
So.. In case you don't know, I'm from Singapore! And if you live in Europe, or America, or somewhere not near Southeast Asia, we're about.. An hour's drive away from Malaysia, and a 13 hour flight away from Europe. :D
And we are near the equator, so, summer all year round! Many of us don't get to celebrate a white Christmas! Isn't that sad? D:
Anyway, small fact of life #13? Lost track..
You can't undo what you've already done, but you can only change for the better.
Yeah. Corny or what.
But honestly. Life is a game of trial and error. Intelligent lucky ones get it right away.
But if you're a little, or very, slow like me, it takes a few hits.
/:
But the moment you stop trying to change for the better, your life is going to come to a standstill. What I mean by that is, your life will slow down into a repetitive cycle. Same sort of friends and the same sort of perspective and environment.. Yeah. "living in a rut" is an apt phrase.
Hmmm maybe I'll blog later. To make up for the drought. Well. Let's see my mood. :D
Merry merry Christmas!
And if you're not celebrating..
Uh, have a great day ahead! :D
Friday, 23 December 2011
Feeling not so good.
Everyone has a past.
Well I do anyway :D
Actually if you want to know the truth, I was a horrible person back in primary school.
You know those people who fake it hard all the way? Yours truly.
The people who are very nice to everyone and then turn on them pretty quick?
Hi.
It was miserable business.
You never have any real true friends in a world like that. They never last anyway. And if they do? It's only because someone is desperately pushing on the pedals.
So this year I actually tried something new.
Lol yes and ended up being fake.
So.. Anyone who isn't blatant and somewhat mean is fake.
Okay, logic flaw on my side probably because I don't really understand what people mean by fake. We all have different standards of fake. So.. Genuine to me may not be genuine to you.
Eeesh did you know that when I read something bad about me my face flushes and my brain kinda goes cloudy?
Hmmm. I get over things pretty easy (:
Anyway. The small fact is in there somewhere.
I miss Sarah Ang. ):
Apparently she has the same problems as me.
Damn our lives.
But when people say something bad about me I kinda reel because I know it's true! And I hadn't seen it from that perspective and I whooosh into a.. Epiphany kinda, without the relief.
Ohhhh well. I'm quite sorry about the whole situation. But I can't change it can I? I can only change myself.
Yup. Bai(:
Well I do anyway :D
Actually if you want to know the truth, I was a horrible person back in primary school.
You know those people who fake it hard all the way? Yours truly.
The people who are very nice to everyone and then turn on them pretty quick?
Hi.
It was miserable business.
You never have any real true friends in a world like that. They never last anyway. And if they do? It's only because someone is desperately pushing on the pedals.
So this year I actually tried something new.
Lol yes and ended up being fake.
So.. Anyone who isn't blatant and somewhat mean is fake.
Okay, logic flaw on my side probably because I don't really understand what people mean by fake. We all have different standards of fake. So.. Genuine to me may not be genuine to you.
Eeesh did you know that when I read something bad about me my face flushes and my brain kinda goes cloudy?
Hmmm. I get over things pretty easy (:
Anyway. The small fact is in there somewhere.
I miss Sarah Ang. ):
Apparently she has the same problems as me.
Damn our lives.
But when people say something bad about me I kinda reel because I know it's true! And I hadn't seen it from that perspective and I whooosh into a.. Epiphany kinda, without the relief.
Ohhhh well. I'm quite sorry about the whole situation. But I can't change it can I? I can only change myself.
Yup. Bai(:
Thursday, 22 December 2011
There it goes.
Damn. Girls. Hmmm. What do I do now.
Heh giving up. Studying for school now screw the rest of it. (:
Did you know, that girls always have something bad to say about someone? (:
Ahhh well. It's more likely people remember what an ass you were in the past rather than what you actually did.
That's all I have to say.
Heh giving up. Studying for school now screw the rest of it. (:
Did you know, that girls always have something bad to say about someone? (:
Ahhh well. It's more likely people remember what an ass you were in the past rather than what you actually did.
That's all I have to say.
Sunday, 18 December 2011
My apologies. Regret.
Ooooooh I'm sorry it's so late I've been in Taiwan! And I'm in Hongkong now sooo yeah, no time to blog, a quickie tweet or fb update or two but not long enough for a good reflective post.
When you have so much to live for. What do you think about?
Personally, nothing much happens now. I'm just thinking abut random thoughts while wandering through Hongkong, siting on the tram to god knows where while snapping pictures. The good life. Peaceful.
Buying vintage necklaces, etc.
So I suddenly thought if something!
Small fact #11: even if someone lives with regrets, everyone dies with some.
Think about it. Maybe you don't regret leaving home in your lifetime, but on your deathbed, you can see that green door hinging open, your mother standing at the stove, pushing something around in a rusty metal pot, a strand of hair hanging down from a loose bun, tickling her face, pushing it away as she smiles warmly at you as she is about to beckon you in for lunch..
Do you miss her? Do you wish you hadn't left her? How is she now? Is she dead? Why didn't you go back? Why did you leave? What would have happened of you had stayed?
Regret.
Is a heavy word.
What do you regret?
Was it something you said?
Something you did? Regardless of your motive?
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
I strive to make people think and reflect upon life in my blog posts.
In any case, I do wish you all a very merry Christmas holiday ahead!
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life make life complete(:
When you have so much to live for. What do you think about?
Personally, nothing much happens now. I'm just thinking abut random thoughts while wandering through Hongkong, siting on the tram to god knows where while snapping pictures. The good life. Peaceful.
Buying vintage necklaces, etc.
So I suddenly thought if something!
Small fact #11: even if someone lives with regrets, everyone dies with some.
Think about it. Maybe you don't regret leaving home in your lifetime, but on your deathbed, you can see that green door hinging open, your mother standing at the stove, pushing something around in a rusty metal pot, a strand of hair hanging down from a loose bun, tickling her face, pushing it away as she smiles warmly at you as she is about to beckon you in for lunch..
Do you miss her? Do you wish you hadn't left her? How is she now? Is she dead? Why didn't you go back? Why did you leave? What would have happened of you had stayed?
Regret.
Is a heavy word.
What do you regret?
Was it something you said?
Something you did? Regardless of your motive?
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
I strive to make people think and reflect upon life in my blog posts.
In any case, I do wish you all a very merry Christmas holiday ahead!
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life make life complete(:
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Song that describes my mood
She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5
Beauty queen of only 18,
she had some troubles with herself, He was always there to help her,
she always belonged to someone else,
I drove for miles and miles and wound out up at your door,
I fed you so many times but somehow I want more,
I don't mind spending everyday out in the corner in the pouring rain,
look for the girl with the broken smile and ask her if she'd like to stay a while,
and she will be loved, she will be loved, tap on my window knock on my door I wanna make you feel beautiful,
I know I tend to get so insecure, doesn't matter anymore,
Its not always and butterflies it's compromise,
it moves us along,
My heart is full and my door's always open you come anytime you want,
I don't mind spending everyday,
out on your corner in the pouring rain,
look for the girl with a broken smile and ask her if she wants to stay a while,
and she will be loved, and she will be loved,
and she will be loved,
and she will be loved,
I know where you hide ,
alone in your car,
Know all of the things that make you who you are,
I know that good bye, means nothing at all, comes back and makes me catch her every time she falls,
Yeahhh,
Tap on my window knock on my door,
I wanna make you feel beautiful,
I don't mind spending everyday,
out on your corner in the pouring rain,
look for the girl with the broken smile,
and ask her if she wanna stay a while,
cause she will be loved (please don't try so hard to say goodbye),
she will be loved (please don't try so hard to say goodbye),
she will be loved (please don't try do hard to say goodbye),
she will be loved (please don't try so hard to say goodbye),
please don't Try so hard to say goodbye.
Beauty queen of only 18,
she had some troubles with herself, He was always there to help her,
she always belonged to someone else,
I drove for miles and miles and wound out up at your door,
I fed you so many times but somehow I want more,
I don't mind spending everyday out in the corner in the pouring rain,
look for the girl with the broken smile and ask her if she'd like to stay a while,
and she will be loved, she will be loved, tap on my window knock on my door I wanna make you feel beautiful,
I know I tend to get so insecure, doesn't matter anymore,
Its not always and butterflies it's compromise,
it moves us along,
My heart is full and my door's always open you come anytime you want,
I don't mind spending everyday,
out on your corner in the pouring rain,
look for the girl with a broken smile and ask her if she wants to stay a while,
and she will be loved, and she will be loved,
and she will be loved,
and she will be loved,
I know where you hide ,
alone in your car,
Know all of the things that make you who you are,
I know that good bye, means nothing at all, comes back and makes me catch her every time she falls,
Yeahhh,
Tap on my window knock on my door,
I wanna make you feel beautiful,
I don't mind spending everyday,
out on your corner in the pouring rain,
look for the girl with the broken smile,
and ask her if she wanna stay a while,
cause she will be loved (please don't try so hard to say goodbye),
she will be loved (please don't try so hard to say goodbye),
she will be loved (please don't try do hard to say goodbye),
she will be loved (please don't try so hard to say goodbye),
please don't Try so hard to say goodbye.
Apologies.
Hi. Today fucking sucked. I cannot blog. No mood at all.
Reason being..
Family issues. I never thought I would have a broken family.
Yeah bye.
Reason being..
Family issues. I never thought I would have a broken family.
Yeah bye.
Saturday, 3 December 2011
Dumped. And don't feel bad about it haha.
Hi guys! :D
I'm single again wheeeee.
Let's put straight. I got dumped. No biggie, really. I didn't really like him,
DOOMED FOR FAILURE RELATIONSHIP.
Moooo it's like 1:30 am over here.
Damn did you know my clothes all have holes in awkward places. FMl.
I have this habit where I bite my nails. Ewwww. I disgust myself.
Anyway. Down to the small fact.
Small fact of life #10: no one wants to die.
Really. Suicidal people do not want to die. They are just sick of life. They hate life. I do not think they embrace death. Nobody loves death. People may embrace death as an outcome, but not as an action. No one is going to smile and say, "I will die by my own hand.".
People may say, "When I die..."
Maybe, "I'm going to stop living."
Not, "I will die tomorrow."
There is regret. Somberness.
Things you wished you have done.
No one is going to run all the way to an edge and just jump. Like into a swimming pool. No. You stop, stand, and ponder.
Why push yourself?
My point is, don't commit suicide.
Wow I talk about that a lot huh.
I love drawing hair. Waviness and the way light plays on the strands, silhouette..
And no face. Face is overrated. I like to convey a feeling without putting a blatant emotion on the face. I think that's art. Allowing your viewer to figure out and really think. I think it's cool haha.
I think the picture's down there.
I'm done for tonight. (:
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life make life complete (;
I'm single again wheeeee.
Let's put straight. I got dumped. No biggie, really. I didn't really like him,
DOOMED FOR FAILURE RELATIONSHIP.
Moooo it's like 1:30 am over here.
Damn did you know my clothes all have holes in awkward places. FMl.
I have this habit where I bite my nails. Ewwww. I disgust myself.
Anyway. Down to the small fact.
Small fact of life #10: no one wants to die.
Really. Suicidal people do not want to die. They are just sick of life. They hate life. I do not think they embrace death. Nobody loves death. People may embrace death as an outcome, but not as an action. No one is going to smile and say, "I will die by my own hand.".
People may say, "When I die..."
Maybe, "I'm going to stop living."
Not, "I will die tomorrow."
There is regret. Somberness.
Things you wished you have done.
No one is going to run all the way to an edge and just jump. Like into a swimming pool. No. You stop, stand, and ponder.
Why push yourself?
My point is, don't commit suicide.
Wow I talk about that a lot huh.
I love drawing hair. Waviness and the way light plays on the strands, silhouette..
And no face. Face is overrated. I like to convey a feeling without putting a blatant emotion on the face. I think that's art. Allowing your viewer to figure out and really think. I think it's cool haha.
I think the picture's down there.
I'm done for tonight. (:
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life make life complete (;
Friday, 2 December 2011
Letting go.
Hi there!
Oh my god I'm obsessed with Project Runway. It is soooooooo good! I mean I love watching fashion designers scuttle around and screech about how there's no more time to do their pieces.
Hahaha. My mum just keeps on talking about her unreasonable client. Screw you mom. Not literally. But seriously.
Anyway. Today's small fact of life!
Small fact of life #9: the way to let go, is to simply change your whole perspective of life.
Well I suppose by doing this it will just rephrase your whole perception of your problem. So, if you have a whole lot of issues, just for about, a few days? I want you to just try thinking about things from a completely opposite perspective.
Just give it a shot.
It worked for me.
Today I went out with Vera and we watched Breaking Dawn. God I'm so slow aren't I? And it wasn't bad. Kristen stewart looked ugly as hell in some scenes.
And so old! And there was this bit where it looked like they did stop motion animation and just filmed her getting make up put on, so she looked prettier as she turned into a vampire. Not so good...
She's really ugly without make up.
Haha, anyway, short post this time but I fulfilled my commitments! (:
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life make life complete! (;
Oh my god I'm obsessed with Project Runway. It is soooooooo good! I mean I love watching fashion designers scuttle around and screech about how there's no more time to do their pieces.
Hahaha. My mum just keeps on talking about her unreasonable client. Screw you mom. Not literally. But seriously.
Anyway. Today's small fact of life!
Small fact of life #9: the way to let go, is to simply change your whole perspective of life.
Well I suppose by doing this it will just rephrase your whole perception of your problem. So, if you have a whole lot of issues, just for about, a few days? I want you to just try thinking about things from a completely opposite perspective.
Just give it a shot.
It worked for me.
Today I went out with Vera and we watched Breaking Dawn. God I'm so slow aren't I? And it wasn't bad. Kristen stewart looked ugly as hell in some scenes.
And so old! And there was this bit where it looked like they did stop motion animation and just filmed her getting make up put on, so she looked prettier as she turned into a vampire. Not so good...
She's really ugly without make up.
Haha, anyway, short post this time but I fulfilled my commitments! (:
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life make life complete! (;
Thursday, 1 December 2011
Emotional issues. Jumping off tall buildings.
Hi reader! :D
I'm kinda worried because I have to do 43 confessions on Facebook. Sighhhh.
Random fact: when I'm hyper I get horny.
Anyway. Let's go straight down to today's small fact(:
Small fact of life #7: emotional issues are a phase of life.
You know we have people committing suicide because they have emotional issues?
Let me give you another small fact.
Small fact if life #8: everyone thinks of jumping off buildings.
So I'm sure everyone at one pint in time will have thought of committing suicide.
You haven't? Try it now haha. It kinda makes my blood rush for a split second.
Close your eyes and imagine, you're standing at the edge of a ledge. There is nothing between you and the air in front of you, your feet, trembling slightly as you balance on the concrete edge. People buzz below you, do they know that you are contemplating your impending doom? The wind ruffles your hair, pushing you toward your death. The wind presses against your cheeks, your eyes narrow, and you shiver as you realize that one step determines your death. You step forward, you're in the air, falling, and the impact has crushed you, you..
Did you feel it?
It scares the hell out of me.
And anyway. I just wanted to say, I'd you have emotional issues, please, don't commit suicide, even if you tell the people around you that they couldn't have done anything to stop you, the reality of the situation is, they will feel like they could have saved you.
Let's face it, they could have. And that will just scar them for life. Do you want to do that to the people who love you? There will always be someone who loves you. Really. Maybe not now not today, but if you give up now, you will never find them.
Please, don't do it. You can't. Please.
Anyway, I really don't want to end this on a sad note, so happy first December! (((;
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life male life complete! (;
I'm kinda worried because I have to do 43 confessions on Facebook. Sighhhh.
Random fact: when I'm hyper I get horny.
Anyway. Let's go straight down to today's small fact(:
Small fact of life #7: emotional issues are a phase of life.
You know we have people committing suicide because they have emotional issues?
Let me give you another small fact.
Small fact if life #8: everyone thinks of jumping off buildings.
So I'm sure everyone at one pint in time will have thought of committing suicide.
You haven't? Try it now haha. It kinda makes my blood rush for a split second.
Close your eyes and imagine, you're standing at the edge of a ledge. There is nothing between you and the air in front of you, your feet, trembling slightly as you balance on the concrete edge. People buzz below you, do they know that you are contemplating your impending doom? The wind ruffles your hair, pushing you toward your death. The wind presses against your cheeks, your eyes narrow, and you shiver as you realize that one step determines your death. You step forward, you're in the air, falling, and the impact has crushed you, you..
Did you feel it?
It scares the hell out of me.
And anyway. I just wanted to say, I'd you have emotional issues, please, don't commit suicide, even if you tell the people around you that they couldn't have done anything to stop you, the reality of the situation is, they will feel like they could have saved you.
Let's face it, they could have. And that will just scar them for life. Do you want to do that to the people who love you? There will always be someone who loves you. Really. Maybe not now not today, but if you give up now, you will never find them.
Please, don't do it. You can't. Please.
Anyway, I really don't want to end this on a sad note, so happy first December! (((;
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life male life complete! (;
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Haters gonna hate
Kinda boring day. Ate food. Rash at my chest.. Arghhh itchy itchy!
And seriously I haven't had a clue about relationships. All my life I figured it was a I like you you like me lets get married have great sex and have shitty moronic kids and flush our dreams down the toilet whoppee.
So I had a boyfriend like 4 hours ago and now we're.. What the heck are we. No idea.
So I'm kinda like a clueless stumbling troll just trampling on my relationships lah see dah, screw it to me it was a game. Yeah I'll tease you. Tell you I love you. Then we get horny and I don't have sex with you.
Then I leave.
Doesn't this sound like a total jerk ass guy? Except that he'd have sex of course. But seriously. I think I jut have a guy personality. I kinda dislike taking to girls. Their so confusing damnit. And if I insult them and joke around, they turn and go, "HMPH! Low EQ bastard."
Screw you crappy thin skinned girls. You shouldn't care about what I say,
But screw you anyway.
Down to today's small fact.
Let's set it straight people! You can never please everyone.
Never!
At least once in your lifetime someone is going to screw up your reputation. Maybe it's when you're 15.
Or maybe when you're 50.
It will happen.
I mean, for some people, having sex in the car is no big deal. Come on, most people in college lose their virginities in cars. Why the heck should the vice president be any different?
I'm kinda referring to USA here cause it doesn't happen much in my Asian part of the globe.
What I'm trying to say is that, whatever ruins your reputation, may not be a big deal. Screw you. Whoever made a big deal of it probably made it a big deal only because you did it.
If you had a class whore. And you told someone she slept with a guy last night. Their reaction would be:
So?
Now if you told that same someone that the guy she slept with was her boyfriend, her reaction would probably be along the lines of:
MOTHERFUCKER!
Sorry about vulgarities but I'm trying to portray an accurate scenario.
So small fact of life #6: you yourself define what people think and say about you, even the bad stuff.
Ok so if you're talking about a whore, "sleeping around" is not the worse thing she can do. Maybe, making porn or whatever.
Ok. That's all I have to say tonight:S
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life make life complete(;
And seriously I haven't had a clue about relationships. All my life I figured it was a I like you you like me lets get married have great sex and have shitty moronic kids and flush our dreams down the toilet whoppee.
So I had a boyfriend like 4 hours ago and now we're.. What the heck are we. No idea.
So I'm kinda like a clueless stumbling troll just trampling on my relationships lah see dah, screw it to me it was a game. Yeah I'll tease you. Tell you I love you. Then we get horny and I don't have sex with you.
Then I leave.
Doesn't this sound like a total jerk ass guy? Except that he'd have sex of course. But seriously. I think I jut have a guy personality. I kinda dislike taking to girls. Their so confusing damnit. And if I insult them and joke around, they turn and go, "HMPH! Low EQ bastard."
Screw you crappy thin skinned girls. You shouldn't care about what I say,
But screw you anyway.
Down to today's small fact.
Let's set it straight people! You can never please everyone.
Never!
At least once in your lifetime someone is going to screw up your reputation. Maybe it's when you're 15.
Or maybe when you're 50.
It will happen.
I mean, for some people, having sex in the car is no big deal. Come on, most people in college lose their virginities in cars. Why the heck should the vice president be any different?
I'm kinda referring to USA here cause it doesn't happen much in my Asian part of the globe.
What I'm trying to say is that, whatever ruins your reputation, may not be a big deal. Screw you. Whoever made a big deal of it probably made it a big deal only because you did it.
If you had a class whore. And you told someone she slept with a guy last night. Their reaction would be:
So?
Now if you told that same someone that the guy she slept with was her boyfriend, her reaction would probably be along the lines of:
MOTHERFUCKER!
Sorry about vulgarities but I'm trying to portray an accurate scenario.
So small fact of life #6: you yourself define what people think and say about you, even the bad stuff.
Ok so if you're talking about a whore, "sleeping around" is not the worse thing she can do. Maybe, making porn or whatever.
Ok. That's all I have to say tonight:S
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life make life complete(;
Sunday, 27 November 2011
Attention seekers/ money and happiness
Today was a Tuesday. And i bought lots of food so I'm quite happy.
Small fact of life #4: it's ok to seek attention.
Let's face it people.
We're all attention-seekers. Why the hell would we make a Facebook status? Talk to someone? Seek approval?
We want attention.
The difference between labelled attention-seekers and normal people are that they're annoying. Screw you I'm happy to like your status about how your dad is a total asscrack but I don't give a shit about how you ate a muffin today. Unless you make it funny. I'm happy to like the photograph of our class smiling at the camera, but shit you if you're going to make an album with 3000 pictures and post 20 new pictures, like everyday, and expect me to not get annoyed.
Haha my point is, of you're going to seek attention don't be annoying about it.
So anyway today I was watching a biography on Mike Tyson, and there was this bit where his chauffeur said something, that really struck me.
Small fact of life #5: money can't buy you happiness, it buys you time, until you realize you're not happy.
Which is perfectly true.
Let's say ice cream makes you happy.
Can you buy ice cream with money?
Sure.
But when you realize that you don't have anymore money to buy ice cream, you're not happy anymore, are you?
Let's take something money can't buy.
Family. Friends.
Can they make you happy?
Of course.
If one day you find yourself sitting at home without money to spend, can you still be happy? Yes, I believe you can. If you stay with someone you love, and that someone loves you back, I believe you can be happy.and not a cent in the world can give you that, neither can it take that happiness away from you.
Here comes the rant.
Just on a side note, if you think I'm fake in real life, maybe it's cause I am. I'm hiding something. Maybe that's why I can't focus do hard on my EQ and watch out for other people's feelings. I'm trying not to leak my own. I'm freaking trying to compensate for something dude. Screw you if you can't see that. And honestly I couldn't care less if the whole class thinks I'm a fake bitch. Go ahead fuckers! Go think I'm a fake. All of you are girls so I don't trust you at all. Bullshitters. Girls think a bit too much into a situation. Even now, I used I a girl in my class was fake and dumb, and subsequently I just felt like she was nice and trying a bit too hard.
Look I'm fake because I you want the truth, I look at your score at tests or whatever and I feel like saying, "dude you fucking suck."
But no. You'd get pissed.
So I go fucking cheery and say, "Nevermind try harder next time." (:
And I'm fake?
Fuck you.
I have low EQ? Screw you. For the next few days or weeks whatever I will ignore you. Then you won't have to put up with me. Let's play it this way ok? Course I'm not gonna do that. I'll just talk a lot less.
I can't tell what you're saying over text message. -.-
So whatever. Really. You know that day of the band thing. God, I didn't even really wanna go. I wanted to go for the performance but when you make me wait for 25 minutes at the mall I got so mad. Seriously but I'm not even going to show it to you and your friend but of course I'm put in a bad mood.
Did you know, I'm usually always in a bad mood, I just never ever show it?
I'm a bottler. As a kid I was always quick tempered. I just pushed it in. And I still do. And I just pretend I'm not mad. When I get mad it's only for like 10 seconds and I shove it all the way down. And it does affect my EQ ok? I'm always in bad mood but I refuse to affect other people so I just get ierly perky and of course "FAKE".
Fuck you if you think I'm stupid for bottling it up. If you want me to give you a glare for turning up late or making me eat overprice food or just talking so much about yourself in general, go ahead.
Of course I'm not going to treat you any different.
I don't want you to feel like I hate you.
I don't.
I never ever hate people. I'm a bottler. I don't hate people. I somehow convince myself that I shouldn't blow up in their faces.
Ok. I'm done. If you're reading this, and you think it's you, I'll be awfully quiet around you, I'm angry, but I won't stay that way.
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life make life complete. (;
Small fact of life #4: it's ok to seek attention.
Let's face it people.
We're all attention-seekers. Why the hell would we make a Facebook status? Talk to someone? Seek approval?
We want attention.
The difference between labelled attention-seekers and normal people are that they're annoying. Screw you I'm happy to like your status about how your dad is a total asscrack but I don't give a shit about how you ate a muffin today. Unless you make it funny. I'm happy to like the photograph of our class smiling at the camera, but shit you if you're going to make an album with 3000 pictures and post 20 new pictures, like everyday, and expect me to not get annoyed.
Haha my point is, of you're going to seek attention don't be annoying about it.
So anyway today I was watching a biography on Mike Tyson, and there was this bit where his chauffeur said something, that really struck me.
Small fact of life #5: money can't buy you happiness, it buys you time, until you realize you're not happy.
Which is perfectly true.
Let's say ice cream makes you happy.
Can you buy ice cream with money?
Sure.
But when you realize that you don't have anymore money to buy ice cream, you're not happy anymore, are you?
Let's take something money can't buy.
Family. Friends.
Can they make you happy?
Of course.
If one day you find yourself sitting at home without money to spend, can you still be happy? Yes, I believe you can. If you stay with someone you love, and that someone loves you back, I believe you can be happy.and not a cent in the world can give you that, neither can it take that happiness away from you.
Here comes the rant.
Just on a side note, if you think I'm fake in real life, maybe it's cause I am. I'm hiding something. Maybe that's why I can't focus do hard on my EQ and watch out for other people's feelings. I'm trying not to leak my own. I'm freaking trying to compensate for something dude. Screw you if you can't see that. And honestly I couldn't care less if the whole class thinks I'm a fake bitch. Go ahead fuckers! Go think I'm a fake. All of you are girls so I don't trust you at all. Bullshitters. Girls think a bit too much into a situation. Even now, I used I a girl in my class was fake and dumb, and subsequently I just felt like she was nice and trying a bit too hard.
Look I'm fake because I you want the truth, I look at your score at tests or whatever and I feel like saying, "dude you fucking suck."
But no. You'd get pissed.
So I go fucking cheery and say, "Nevermind try harder next time." (:
And I'm fake?
Fuck you.
I have low EQ? Screw you. For the next few days or weeks whatever I will ignore you. Then you won't have to put up with me. Let's play it this way ok? Course I'm not gonna do that. I'll just talk a lot less.
I can't tell what you're saying over text message. -.-
So whatever. Really. You know that day of the band thing. God, I didn't even really wanna go. I wanted to go for the performance but when you make me wait for 25 minutes at the mall I got so mad. Seriously but I'm not even going to show it to you and your friend but of course I'm put in a bad mood.
Did you know, I'm usually always in a bad mood, I just never ever show it?
I'm a bottler. As a kid I was always quick tempered. I just pushed it in. And I still do. And I just pretend I'm not mad. When I get mad it's only for like 10 seconds and I shove it all the way down. And it does affect my EQ ok? I'm always in bad mood but I refuse to affect other people so I just get ierly perky and of course "FAKE".
Fuck you if you think I'm stupid for bottling it up. If you want me to give you a glare for turning up late or making me eat overprice food or just talking so much about yourself in general, go ahead.
Of course I'm not going to treat you any different.
I don't want you to feel like I hate you.
I don't.
I never ever hate people. I'm a bottler. I don't hate people. I somehow convince myself that I shouldn't blow up in their faces.
Ok. I'm done. If you're reading this, and you think it's you, I'll be awfully quiet around you, I'm angry, but I won't stay that way.
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life make life complete. (;
Unsuspecting Perpetrators via Humor/ Striving for Perfection
Hey.
Before I go into the whole small fact topic for today, I kinda just wanna, megalomaniac all over my blog.
Hell yeah I think I'm important even
though I'm probably an insignificant pawn. Look up megalomaniac.
And so here goes.
I am so fucking tired.
Physically and mentally and emotionally taxed.
Most of the time I feel like a druggie. Or just empty. Druggie as in, well, this morning I was walking around and everything became kinda blurry and the lights were kinda rainbow and flashing. And I just felt so giddy and disconnected. Yeah yeah man. Sure. Whatever dude.
And I just feel so drained. There is no soul. I'm completely sucked dry.
And nobody knows. I owe it to my humor. I make living life look like I'm cruising. That my life is full if jokes. Which it isn't. I just make it look picture perfect.
Screw it. Life is too short to be tired.
Small fact of life #2: drawing the line
Sometimes we say things that other people hear differently.
You know, classic example.
I say you're "big" and you think I'm calling you fat when I mean you're a "big girl now"
That happened a week ago. To me. Big girl.
I think it may be because I think I'm fat? Screw this shit. You know I think I'm scared of finding out shit on myself.
I watched a movie with like nudity today and it was like, "this is not heaven, you don't have to be perfect"
Well said, sir.
Let's make it small fact of life #3;
Don't waste your time being perfect.
Look, perfection is unachievable. Ever. So why waste your time? Give it your best shot. Perfection is boring. Mistakes are interesting. No one wants to hear about how the teachers' pet dusted the erasers voluntarily. They wanna hear about how the teacher made out with the superintendent.
Personally I feel that we were perfect on the first place, once we screw up we don't get to go back to perfect status.
Yeah that's all I have to say now.
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life make life complete (;
Before I go into the whole small fact topic for today, I kinda just wanna, megalomaniac all over my blog.
Hell yeah I think I'm important even
though I'm probably an insignificant pawn. Look up megalomaniac.
And so here goes.
I am so fucking tired.
Physically and mentally and emotionally taxed.
Most of the time I feel like a druggie. Or just empty. Druggie as in, well, this morning I was walking around and everything became kinda blurry and the lights were kinda rainbow and flashing. And I just felt so giddy and disconnected. Yeah yeah man. Sure. Whatever dude.
And I just feel so drained. There is no soul. I'm completely sucked dry.
And nobody knows. I owe it to my humor. I make living life look like I'm cruising. That my life is full if jokes. Which it isn't. I just make it look picture perfect.
Screw it. Life is too short to be tired.
Small fact of life #2: drawing the line
Sometimes we say things that other people hear differently.
You know, classic example.
I say you're "big" and you think I'm calling you fat when I mean you're a "big girl now"
That happened a week ago. To me. Big girl.
I think it may be because I think I'm fat? Screw this shit. You know I think I'm scared of finding out shit on myself.
I watched a movie with like nudity today and it was like, "this is not heaven, you don't have to be perfect"
Well said, sir.
Let's make it small fact of life #3;
Don't waste your time being perfect.
Look, perfection is unachievable. Ever. So why waste your time? Give it your best shot. Perfection is boring. Mistakes are interesting. No one wants to hear about how the teachers' pet dusted the erasers voluntarily. They wanna hear about how the teacher made out with the superintendent.
Personally I feel that we were perfect on the first place, once we screw up we don't get to go back to perfect status.
Yeah that's all I have to say now.
Embrace yourself!
Small facts of life make life complete (;
Humor me!
Just wanna say sorry to the person who tried to talk to me last night. Sleep regiment blah.
And well. Today my dad drank some. And he started talking about how I fail in life and shit like that.
I can take it. But it hurts. Well what can I say? I don't choose my parents so...
Well um, today I was gonna talk about some deep shit about life and cake but I don't feel like talking deep today cause well I kinda wanna live up to the title up there...
So I'm gonna do a small fact of life everyday (: yay!
It may be a quote from a good book or just something I came up with but hey, I try. I'll make it a personal commitment. Like not watching porn.
Yeah just by the way, I don't watch porn.
Well I really don't like to rag out on people much. I really don't have a lot of hate. I just save it up copiously for
one person.
Did I mention I detest camwhorers?
Ugh. Maybe it's because I'm jealous you know? Pretty people. Well, my maid said that I'm not pretty. But I'm "good-looking"? Errrr what? Is that like, ugly but i have a cute smile?
Haha actually she means that I am not pretty but I have a cool personality and it shows.
Er okay now I know how not do pretty people pick up dates XD
So today I think I'll talk about humor.
Humor.
As a kid I always wanted to be the funny girl. You know. You make people laugh and you feel like laughing inside?
Spreading joy. Kinda.
Small fact of life #1
How to be funny:
1) make fun of people.
2) make fun of yourself.
That's how most people do it, and you laugh at my jokes so don't say that I'm a bully.
Actually I missed out one and that is to be clueless. You know, asking dumb questions? But don't overdo it. It gets kinda annoying. That kinda falls on making fun of yourself right?
But see, making fun people. Hmmm. Best yet most hurtful way to make people laugh. Sheesh. My friend once remarked, "you know Naomi, you can say some pretty hurtful stuff, but you make sound so, normal"
Wow. Gee. I've taken mean to a whole new level! Wow I'm saving this topic for tomorrow.
Back to humor.
I think I like it because it allowed me to get attention without being annoying. Ah ok new topic for next time.
I mean no one hates the class clown. Except maybe some assholes who are jealous or the poor asscrack who got
nubbed on.
Well. I pride myself in having a good sense of humor. So... Yup! I like myself like that :D
Embrace yourself!
(; small facts of life make life complete.
And well. Today my dad drank some. And he started talking about how I fail in life and shit like that.
I can take it. But it hurts. Well what can I say? I don't choose my parents so...
Well um, today I was gonna talk about some deep shit about life and cake but I don't feel like talking deep today cause well I kinda wanna live up to the title up there...
So I'm gonna do a small fact of life everyday (: yay!
It may be a quote from a good book or just something I came up with but hey, I try. I'll make it a personal commitment. Like not watching porn.
Yeah just by the way, I don't watch porn.
Well I really don't like to rag out on people much. I really don't have a lot of hate. I just save it up copiously for
one person.
Did I mention I detest camwhorers?
Ugh. Maybe it's because I'm jealous you know? Pretty people. Well, my maid said that I'm not pretty. But I'm "good-looking"? Errrr what? Is that like, ugly but i have a cute smile?
Haha actually she means that I am not pretty but I have a cool personality and it shows.
Er okay now I know how not do pretty people pick up dates XD
So today I think I'll talk about humor.
Humor.
As a kid I always wanted to be the funny girl. You know. You make people laugh and you feel like laughing inside?
Spreading joy. Kinda.
Small fact of life #1
How to be funny:
1) make fun of people.
2) make fun of yourself.
That's how most people do it, and you laugh at my jokes so don't say that I'm a bully.
Actually I missed out one and that is to be clueless. You know, asking dumb questions? But don't overdo it. It gets kinda annoying. That kinda falls on making fun of yourself right?
But see, making fun people. Hmmm. Best yet most hurtful way to make people laugh. Sheesh. My friend once remarked, "you know Naomi, you can say some pretty hurtful stuff, but you make sound so, normal"
Wow. Gee. I've taken mean to a whole new level! Wow I'm saving this topic for tomorrow.
Back to humor.
I think I like it because it allowed me to get attention without being annoying. Ah ok new topic for next time.
I mean no one hates the class clown. Except maybe some assholes who are jealous or the poor asscrack who got
nubbed on.
Well. I pride myself in having a good sense of humor. So... Yup! I like myself like that :D
Embrace yourself!
(; small facts of life make life complete.
Friday, 25 November 2011
Tuition tomorrow
Sigh. I don't really feel like blogging. I
Don't get it. I want to help other people. I want to know about then and their problems.
But I can't do that for myself.
I don't know why. Argh.
Do I sound like a girl in my posts? I don't think I have a character unlike a guy. Sigh. Shall attempt to sleep with soothing tunes by linkin park.
There's a reason why I don't like to talk much around girls. I can't joke by insulting them openly as a laugh. But u can when I'm with guys. So yeah. Among a lot of girls. I'm kinda quiet.
Really. I mean I can feel slightly stung if a girl or guy insults me, but I kinda insult back if it's a guy because I know he doesn't mean it.
But with girls, I really can't tell.
You know when they say, "you're/ she's like, sooo fake." I kinda just agree cause, you know. I can't tell. And I can't tell if I sound fake. Cause I don't think that deep. If someone says something to me that does sound a little fake I just dismiss it and take it as whatever, a heartfelt encouragement.
Wow I'm really kinda guy.
Sigh goodnight.
Don't get it. I want to help other people. I want to know about then and their problems.
But I can't do that for myself.
I don't know why. Argh.
Do I sound like a girl in my posts? I don't think I have a character unlike a guy. Sigh. Shall attempt to sleep with soothing tunes by linkin park.
There's a reason why I don't like to talk much around girls. I can't joke by insulting them openly as a laugh. But u can when I'm with guys. So yeah. Among a lot of girls. I'm kinda quiet.
Really. I mean I can feel slightly stung if a girl or guy insults me, but I kinda insult back if it's a guy because I know he doesn't mean it.
But with girls, I really can't tell.
You know when they say, "you're/ she's like, sooo fake." I kinda just agree cause, you know. I can't tell. And I can't tell if I sound fake. Cause I don't think that deep. If someone says something to me that does sound a little fake I just dismiss it and take it as whatever, a heartfelt encouragement.
Wow I'm really kinda guy.
Sigh goodnight.
The little things give you away
All you ever wanted was someone to truly look up to you.
And at six feet, under the water, I... Do.
Perfect rhythm and the words are so good to sing along to. Linkin park's the best.
And then we have my LMFAO binge.
Sigh. My life is like... Repetition repetition repetition. I quote my Facebook status...
"My life is like a roller coaster I've sat in a million times.
Going down, fun! Going up, ahhhh crap.
And it gets a little bit more dull each rise and fall."
I sound like I'm a meth addict. God. Anyway. I understand that the first blast of awesome is so good. But see after that the crash is harder. It's like, the higher you jump the greater the height you fall from.
Which is true. Plus it hurts a lot more.
So I've gotten over a lot of guys in my life. It's always the same crush-crush feeling I got since I was small. But then, well. Nowadays the crushes don't even feel like "love" anymore. It's like, whoa you're cute. -move along- and if the guy doesn't like me, I'm kinda like "shrug, imma keep rollin'."
I think everyone has dirty little secrets. Mine is just. A lot dirtier.
Ok I'm tired it's 1:59 and I've broken my early night regimen do screw this shit. I'm sleeping.
Don't wanna reach for me do you, I mean nothing to you, the little things give you away.
-linkin park.
And at six feet, under the water, I... Do.
Perfect rhythm and the words are so good to sing along to. Linkin park's the best.
And then we have my LMFAO binge.
Sigh. My life is like... Repetition repetition repetition. I quote my Facebook status...
"My life is like a roller coaster I've sat in a million times.
Going down, fun! Going up, ahhhh crap.
And it gets a little bit more dull each rise and fall."
I sound like I'm a meth addict. God. Anyway. I understand that the first blast of awesome is so good. But see after that the crash is harder. It's like, the higher you jump the greater the height you fall from.
Which is true. Plus it hurts a lot more.
So I've gotten over a lot of guys in my life. It's always the same crush-crush feeling I got since I was small. But then, well. Nowadays the crushes don't even feel like "love" anymore. It's like, whoa you're cute. -move along- and if the guy doesn't like me, I'm kinda like "shrug, imma keep rollin'."
I think everyone has dirty little secrets. Mine is just. A lot dirtier.
Ok I'm tired it's 1:59 and I've broken my early night regimen do screw this shit. I'm sleeping.
Don't wanna reach for me do you, I mean nothing to you, the little things give you away.
-linkin park.
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Vaguely annoyed
Friend who I was talking to last night, I'm sorry I had to go because my dad wanted to take my phone from me. :P
Then I took his blackberry, then he took it back. Then he came back and threw his phone onto the floor and said that I could have it if I wanted.
So I took it! Duhhhhh.
In the morning, he was like, "where's my phone?" then I got out of bed an took it for him, then climbed back into bed.
In the morning, after brunch, my phone was back on the table. Whoopee, which is why I can blog now.
There's a really good song by linkin park, it's called "hands held high" and at the end there's a perfect line that goes, "hands held high into the sky so blue, as the ocean opens up to swallow you"
Sounds so poetic! <3
But what really caught me is the meaning in which we feel a freedom, as we're getting pulled back under control. Perhaps it means surrender.
Just practicing for my lit. Here.
Last night I watched the adventures of tintin! It wasn't a waste of money, I'll say. It's quite nice(:
Anyway, got to go do my math paper /:
Will blog later.
Then I took his blackberry, then he took it back. Then he came back and threw his phone onto the floor and said that I could have it if I wanted.
So I took it! Duhhhhh.
In the morning, he was like, "where's my phone?" then I got out of bed an took it for him, then climbed back into bed.
In the morning, after brunch, my phone was back on the table. Whoopee, which is why I can blog now.
There's a really good song by linkin park, it's called "hands held high" and at the end there's a perfect line that goes, "hands held high into the sky so blue, as the ocean opens up to swallow you"
Sounds so poetic! <3
But what really caught me is the meaning in which we feel a freedom, as we're getting pulled back under control. Perhaps it means surrender.
Just practicing for my lit. Here.
Last night I watched the adventures of tintin! It wasn't a waste of money, I'll say. It's quite nice(:
Anyway, got to go do my math paper /:
Will blog later.
Art spam
Hmm, like any artist I enjoy sharing my works with the world, so you can appreciate it or just hate on it, oh whatever. Enjoy!
Monday, 21 November 2011
Masks
Few of us actually know what kind of people we are. Are you emotional? Or nonchalant about most things? Are you chatty and extroverted? Or quiet and introverted? Confident and loud? Nervous and shy?
The list goes on.
Maybe to your mother you are kind and endearing, to your father cold, but strong, to your younger brother, firm and responsible. So many people, to each we show a face, a mask is then borrowed, to plaster on your face.
Maybe your dad shouted at you in the car this morning, but in front of your peers, you paste on a smiling mask to hide your disgrace.
See?
The question is, who are we? Under the mask, what is under the mask? I don't know. I don't really want to know about myself.
I guess it's because I'm scared I'll see a monster, something I am, but something I shouldn't be.
To those of you who say that "I am who I am, problem, bitch?"
You're wrong, underneath the skin we're all the same. They're inside all of us. Driving our very emotions and actions. Generating every thought. But our conscience is there, and our souls, not to forget, society.
Monsters. Hiding behind our masks.
The list goes on.
Maybe to your mother you are kind and endearing, to your father cold, but strong, to your younger brother, firm and responsible. So many people, to each we show a face, a mask is then borrowed, to plaster on your face.
Maybe your dad shouted at you in the car this morning, but in front of your peers, you paste on a smiling mask to hide your disgrace.
See?
The question is, who are we? Under the mask, what is under the mask? I don't know. I don't really want to know about myself.
I guess it's because I'm scared I'll see a monster, something I am, but something I shouldn't be.
To those of you who say that "I am who I am, problem, bitch?"
You're wrong, underneath the skin we're all the same. They're inside all of us. Driving our very emotions and actions. Generating every thought. But our conscience is there, and our souls, not to forget, society.
Monsters. Hiding behind our masks.
Saturday, 19 November 2011
Swimming and being a good listener
What do you do to distress?
I swim like hell. I pull back water and I propel myself through the water. I feel comfortable. At home. In control.
Do I think about other stuff?
No.
My thoughts purely orbit around which lap I'm on. And time melts into laps. Seconds into metres, each pull and push I make becomes a measurement of time itself.
I love it.
When I get back my thoughts revolve around how to help my friend. I cannot stop thinking or stop helping because I don't know what will happen if I don't come with a solution quickly.
It's like that book, from 13 reasons why: you cared, but you didn't care enough to save me.
I'm scared that maybe, if someone I know dies, or commits suicide, it will be because I didn't do enough to help
them.
I swim like hell. I pull back water and I propel myself through the water. I feel comfortable. At home. In control.
Do I think about other stuff?
No.
My thoughts purely orbit around which lap I'm on. And time melts into laps. Seconds into metres, each pull and push I make becomes a measurement of time itself.
I love it.
When I get back my thoughts revolve around how to help my friend. I cannot stop thinking or stop helping because I don't know what will happen if I don't come with a solution quickly.
It's like that book, from 13 reasons why: you cared, but you didn't care enough to save me.
I'm scared that maybe, if someone I know dies, or commits suicide, it will be because I didn't do enough to help
them.
Friday, 18 November 2011
Dearest me,
You are a jerk by many definitions. You don't love a guy but you tell him you do.
You give great advice, but you can't follow your own.
You are a jerk to others and yourself.
You probably don't give a shit about anyone on the outside, but when it comes to personal stuff you have a truckload of care and patience. You who cannot stitch or knit without screaming in frustration.
You get over things so easily! Why can't you just stay angry at an asshole for once? Like a normal person?!
You never get angry or frustrated. But you spew out at yourself. You take in everyone's shit and you take a bath I it. Maybe this is a form of self-inflicted pain. Screw it, it's my way of staying alive.
You don't study. You get good grades.
You're a fake. You know you are. You're a nice girl aren't you? But I know you, Naomi, you laugh at everyone under the blanket. You judge. You lable.
You're kinda like a slut. You arouse guys for the heck of it. You don't watch porn, but at the rate you're going you're probably going to be a part of one.
You don't really care about yourself do you?
Ever since you were a little girl, what was most important wasn't you was it? Always mummy and daddy. Always somebody else.
What did they say? "make daddy proud" "make god proud" never ever "make yourself feel proud"
Can anyone hear my plea for help help?
You give great advice, but you can't follow your own.
You are a jerk to others and yourself.
You probably don't give a shit about anyone on the outside, but when it comes to personal stuff you have a truckload of care and patience. You who cannot stitch or knit without screaming in frustration.
You get over things so easily! Why can't you just stay angry at an asshole for once? Like a normal person?!
You never get angry or frustrated. But you spew out at yourself. You take in everyone's shit and you take a bath I it. Maybe this is a form of self-inflicted pain. Screw it, it's my way of staying alive.
You don't study. You get good grades.
You're a fake. You know you are. You're a nice girl aren't you? But I know you, Naomi, you laugh at everyone under the blanket. You judge. You lable.
You're kinda like a slut. You arouse guys for the heck of it. You don't watch porn, but at the rate you're going you're probably going to be a part of one.
You don't really care about yourself do you?
Ever since you were a little girl, what was most important wasn't you was it? Always mummy and daddy. Always somebody else.
What did they say? "make daddy proud" "make god proud" never ever "make yourself feel proud"
Can anyone hear my plea for help help?
Thursday, 17 November 2011
Algebra FOIL method has foiled me.
Sigh. Algebra algebra, why do you muddle up my brain like that? >~< My mind is muddled up enough as it is.
Dear Naomi, why are you always so complicated? You don't like the guy, but you don't turn him down either. Why? Because you don't know how to. Simple as that. I think this is the problem with my empathetic personality. I think a lot about how sad and horrible the guy may feel. Most girls just straight out say "no."
Crap. Dilemma dilemma.
Not exactly because I know which guy I like and which guy I don't, and there seems to be a surprising amount who like me. But I know they don't like ME. They like the open horniness. Which is rare in today's society.
That really sucks.
I'll give you a rough comparison, it's like a guy liking you just because you have great tits. Which is dumb, obviously.
But there is a guy who likes me and he's against horniness of any kind. Not against, but you know, he's conservative. And I don't like him! 0:
What a mess.
Life always has some way to hold me and screw me. I can't even scream out against it. Maybe these seem like trivial matters, but I don't know, to me it isn't. It is a humongous problem. Because I really don't want to hurt anyone the way I was hurt previously, so yeah.
I read a comic that really made sense.
"there isn't any real love,
I think the closest we get is horny,
Then we get scared of the rest of the world,
Then we stick together"
Think about it you bimbos preaching about love and butterflies out there. What are you feeling, really?
I think I shall try to curb the horniness on other guys and just reserve it all for my fuck buddy.
Zzzzzz.
See here's the conversation between me and the fuck buddy:
Me: so how do I tell him I don't like him?
Fb: Tell him to his face.
Me: but that's mean...
Fb: we're guys. We can take it.
Me: yeah ok. What if the guy keeps on talking to me?
Fb: ignore. Eventually he will get the message.
HAHAHA YES!!! I will finally get rid of
Jamarcus! I like my fuck buddy ^^
Anyway. Peeeeeaaaace.
Dear Naomi, why are you always so complicated? You don't like the guy, but you don't turn him down either. Why? Because you don't know how to. Simple as that. I think this is the problem with my empathetic personality. I think a lot about how sad and horrible the guy may feel. Most girls just straight out say "no."
Crap. Dilemma dilemma.
Not exactly because I know which guy I like and which guy I don't, and there seems to be a surprising amount who like me. But I know they don't like ME. They like the open horniness. Which is rare in today's society.
That really sucks.
I'll give you a rough comparison, it's like a guy liking you just because you have great tits. Which is dumb, obviously.
But there is a guy who likes me and he's against horniness of any kind. Not against, but you know, he's conservative. And I don't like him! 0:
What a mess.
Life always has some way to hold me and screw me. I can't even scream out against it. Maybe these seem like trivial matters, but I don't know, to me it isn't. It is a humongous problem. Because I really don't want to hurt anyone the way I was hurt previously, so yeah.
I read a comic that really made sense.
"there isn't any real love,
I think the closest we get is horny,
Then we get scared of the rest of the world,
Then we stick together"
Think about it you bimbos preaching about love and butterflies out there. What are you feeling, really?
I think I shall try to curb the horniness on other guys and just reserve it all for my fuck buddy.
Zzzzzz.
See here's the conversation between me and the fuck buddy:
Me: so how do I tell him I don't like him?
Fb: Tell him to his face.
Me: but that's mean...
Fb: we're guys. We can take it.
Me: yeah ok. What if the guy keeps on talking to me?
Fb: ignore. Eventually he will get the message.
HAHAHA YES!!! I will finally get rid of
Jamarcus! I like my fuck buddy ^^
Anyway. Peeeeeaaaace.
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
Feeling preppy
Ok I always always feel sorta clean and.. Crisp? In the morning. You know crisp as in, "the crisp morning air tinged with the scent of mint made her feel like another person in her shoes" that kind of feeling makes you feel renewed I guess.
Unfortunately in Singapore we don't have "crisp" morning air. We don't have the kind of air that nibbles at your skin and leaves a slight prickling sensation. We have damp humid air and if you head to botanic gardens after it rains, you'll have that accompanied with the aroma of dead leaves that litter the ground. Oh joy.
Back to the topic, I actually feel like a new person in the morning, like my sin the previous night before have been swept away. By sins I mean hardcore sins. But I don't look like that person do I?
In any case, in the morning I think the same thing, "oh god, did I really really do that?" and unfortunately the answer is, "yes, yes you did." whoa that's kinda phineas and ferb. And I just die a little bit inside, but at night I'm back doing shit. God damn. I am so confusing. Wonder if there are other people like that...
Secret confession, for all my sins I have yet to watch porn. Why? I've done so many crappy fucked up shit before I am not going to add watching porn to my list.
That's what I'm gonna say anyway.
At the moment I'm waiting for time to pass so I can go for stock check at 1 great. Sigh.
I can't understand sarcasm on the Internet or via text message because I need to hear the tone and everything. Auditory person here! So I sound really stupid, insensitive and idiotic on the web. Sometimes in real life I can't help it because, well, some people just can't pull off sarcasm!
How did I even start talking about sarcasm? Beats me. To lazy to flick upwards.
I think I'd like to rant about the assholes in my school. My seniors are fine, they're really nice (:
Unfortunately, people in my batch are rather weird. Firstly, dear girls. There is a huge difference between being corrupted and being horny. Thinking about shit related to sex does not mean wanting to have sex! If you say that "bushes" equates "dick", you need to seriously stave off whatever you've been doing. Saying that something sounds wrong does not equate to wanting to drop down and masturbate on the ground!
Secondly, don't say I'm attention seeking because I fucking answer the question all the time. In any case there are probably 2 reasons why the rest of the fucking class is not answering:
1) you don't know the answer
2) you don't want to answer
If you don't know the answer, isn't it a good thing that someone who knows the answer, says the answer? What the heck you ungrateful moron.
If you don't want to answer the question, I'm answering it for you so I don't see why you have anything to complain about!
And "give other people a chance" FUCK YOU if other people wanted the fucking chance they should shout it out. I mean if you really wanted to answer just say it! What the hell man.
For the record, when I didn't come and mindy kept quiet ALL OF YOU GOT
SCREWED OVER!
Let me explain why, usually when me and mindy answer the question, we save you from sudden death round, a.k.a the teacher calls up index number, and if you don't know the right answer you die and you remain standing. Why? Because he gets agitated that no one bothers to answer the question. Sheesh! How asshole can you get? We're doing you a favour and you punch us in the face. Screw you guys who say we're attention seeking. What attention would we get from that? I do it purely for my own pleasure in getting the right answer and learning if I get it wrong. Gee, maybe this is why I'm doing better that you assholes who say I'm attention seeking.
And another thing, group of girls who call yourselves the boob family, your game is stupid. And linking everything to sex? What are you trying to be, horny? And the whole class seems to
forget that the very person who was openly corrupt, yours truly, is not even that "corrupt".
I also hate it when we're discussing something and it diverts off to shit. It seriously gets on my nerves, you airheads. Always floating of to distant lands.
Also during open house, don't be such and asshole to tell other people to leave their cca and join dance. I'm in dance and all and I like it very very much but I'm not going to take the
risk to offend someone who is as devoted to their own cca. How moronic can you get? Where the hell are your EQ and your manners? Gosh.
Welcome I my life. Maybe I'll rant about other people next time. But sigh. I'm horrible at bearing grudges. Like really really bad.
My class is not actually a class. We're more of a clique of cliques.
Peace out
Unfortunately in Singapore we don't have "crisp" morning air. We don't have the kind of air that nibbles at your skin and leaves a slight prickling sensation. We have damp humid air and if you head to botanic gardens after it rains, you'll have that accompanied with the aroma of dead leaves that litter the ground. Oh joy.
Back to the topic, I actually feel like a new person in the morning, like my sin the previous night before have been swept away. By sins I mean hardcore sins. But I don't look like that person do I?
In any case, in the morning I think the same thing, "oh god, did I really really do that?" and unfortunately the answer is, "yes, yes you did." whoa that's kinda phineas and ferb. And I just die a little bit inside, but at night I'm back doing shit. God damn. I am so confusing. Wonder if there are other people like that...
Secret confession, for all my sins I have yet to watch porn. Why? I've done so many crappy fucked up shit before I am not going to add watching porn to my list.
That's what I'm gonna say anyway.
At the moment I'm waiting for time to pass so I can go for stock check at 1 great. Sigh.
I can't understand sarcasm on the Internet or via text message because I need to hear the tone and everything. Auditory person here! So I sound really stupid, insensitive and idiotic on the web. Sometimes in real life I can't help it because, well, some people just can't pull off sarcasm!
How did I even start talking about sarcasm? Beats me. To lazy to flick upwards.
I think I'd like to rant about the assholes in my school. My seniors are fine, they're really nice (:
Unfortunately, people in my batch are rather weird. Firstly, dear girls. There is a huge difference between being corrupted and being horny. Thinking about shit related to sex does not mean wanting to have sex! If you say that "bushes" equates "dick", you need to seriously stave off whatever you've been doing. Saying that something sounds wrong does not equate to wanting to drop down and masturbate on the ground!
Secondly, don't say I'm attention seeking because I fucking answer the question all the time. In any case there are probably 2 reasons why the rest of the fucking class is not answering:
1) you don't know the answer
2) you don't want to answer
If you don't know the answer, isn't it a good thing that someone who knows the answer, says the answer? What the heck you ungrateful moron.
If you don't want to answer the question, I'm answering it for you so I don't see why you have anything to complain about!
And "give other people a chance" FUCK YOU if other people wanted the fucking chance they should shout it out. I mean if you really wanted to answer just say it! What the hell man.
For the record, when I didn't come and mindy kept quiet ALL OF YOU GOT
SCREWED OVER!
Let me explain why, usually when me and mindy answer the question, we save you from sudden death round, a.k.a the teacher calls up index number, and if you don't know the right answer you die and you remain standing. Why? Because he gets agitated that no one bothers to answer the question. Sheesh! How asshole can you get? We're doing you a favour and you punch us in the face. Screw you guys who say we're attention seeking. What attention would we get from that? I do it purely for my own pleasure in getting the right answer and learning if I get it wrong. Gee, maybe this is why I'm doing better that you assholes who say I'm attention seeking.
And another thing, group of girls who call yourselves the boob family, your game is stupid. And linking everything to sex? What are you trying to be, horny? And the whole class seems to
forget that the very person who was openly corrupt, yours truly, is not even that "corrupt".
I also hate it when we're discussing something and it diverts off to shit. It seriously gets on my nerves, you airheads. Always floating of to distant lands.
Also during open house, don't be such and asshole to tell other people to leave their cca and join dance. I'm in dance and all and I like it very very much but I'm not going to take the
risk to offend someone who is as devoted to their own cca. How moronic can you get? Where the hell are your EQ and your manners? Gosh.
Welcome I my life. Maybe I'll rant about other people next time. But sigh. I'm horrible at bearing grudges. Like really really bad.
My class is not actually a class. We're more of a clique of cliques.
Peace out
Emptiness of- screw it.
If you don't have any happy memories, we should make some now- Monster
I love reading Monster manga. <3
Anyway, I usually have nothing to rant about because I'm not a very quick-tempered person. But my dad really irritated me yesterday.
I went to Mandy's house with Christine Joelle and Mindy, and I was actually supposed to go Yunling's house but she had remedial so, oh well.
I told my mum and she was like, "Oh ok," an that was THAT. But my sad got all pissed because I only told mum. Why the hell can't I just tell mum?! I even told the maid the address so my dad would know where I am! He knows that address! And then, he called me multiple times afterwards, and I couldn't hear the phone ringing because it was fucking on the coffee table and we were in the dining room! And when I called back, I explained why I didn't pick up and he blew up! He asked me if it was his problem if the phone was let there. Well, dad, if you were trying to talk to me and the phone was not picked up, YES ITS PART OF YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM. And it doesn't stop there! He asks for my friend's house number, then he calls and I pick up and he's like, "why you answer?" FUCK YOU MAYBE BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY AT MANDY'S HOUSE?!
Ok screw this. It's almost like when he overreacted because I went to far east plaza. Dad, it's not exactly strewn with prostitutes in thongs and bras.
See my parents are so weird! Sigh. No wonder I'm a softie, my dad likes to beat me up.
Ok now let me spazzing a bit about Linkin Park <3 their songs are awesome, they describe how everyone feels inside. Naturally they're all negative. So unless you are a great ginormous fan of people like Taylor swift and Colbie Calilat, and a complete metal/ rap/ meaningful-not-always-about-love-and-heartbreak-shit hater, I don't think you'd like linkin park very much. But I've never came across a linkin park hater. Yet. There's always people out there to get you.
-insert nice water colour painting of blue words here-
So yep that all I have to say for now.
I love reading Monster manga. <3
Anyway, I usually have nothing to rant about because I'm not a very quick-tempered person. But my dad really irritated me yesterday.
I went to Mandy's house with Christine Joelle and Mindy, and I was actually supposed to go Yunling's house but she had remedial so, oh well.
I told my mum and she was like, "Oh ok," an that was THAT. But my sad got all pissed because I only told mum. Why the hell can't I just tell mum?! I even told the maid the address so my dad would know where I am! He knows that address! And then, he called me multiple times afterwards, and I couldn't hear the phone ringing because it was fucking on the coffee table and we were in the dining room! And when I called back, I explained why I didn't pick up and he blew up! He asked me if it was his problem if the phone was let there. Well, dad, if you were trying to talk to me and the phone was not picked up, YES ITS PART OF YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM. And it doesn't stop there! He asks for my friend's house number, then he calls and I pick up and he's like, "why you answer?" FUCK YOU MAYBE BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY AT MANDY'S HOUSE?!
Ok screw this. It's almost like when he overreacted because I went to far east plaza. Dad, it's not exactly strewn with prostitutes in thongs and bras.
See my parents are so weird! Sigh. No wonder I'm a softie, my dad likes to beat me up.
Ok now let me spazzing a bit about Linkin Park <3 their songs are awesome, they describe how everyone feels inside. Naturally they're all negative. So unless you are a great ginormous fan of people like Taylor swift and Colbie Calilat, and a complete metal/ rap/ meaningful-not-always-about-love-and-heartbreak-shit hater, I don't think you'd like linkin park very much. But I've never came across a linkin park hater. Yet. There's always people out there to get you.
-insert nice water colour painting of blue words here-
So yep that all I have to say for now.
I Am Overly Perky
What's wrong with me being sad? Why are you so shocked about me being sad?
Just because I have a very natural and perpetual smile does not mean I'm perpetually in a good mood! Some people are just better at covering up sadness, you know? I'm a great actress I. That sense.
I feel empty a lot these days. Not a physical empty desire, just a gaping hole in my life that needs to be filled wih SOMETHING. I'm addicted to linkin park. I'm rolling linkin park all day and all night, it's really affecting my mood. And I feel like every song can describe me some how. I don't know. Their band is my favourite of all time. Hehehehe. Perhaps followed by The first one by boys like girl, and Last night by Keyshia cole feat. P. Diddy. That song is 10 years old and the best one ever.
Did you know that when I talk to a guy, who's like going through puberty and everything, I start talking about the shit girls don't talk about and they're like, "You're horny! Wow you're fun!" See? I should totally be a guy. This is really sad because the guys I like all treat me as their good horny female friend. Whoppee... ._. That really sucks balls.
Anyway, I'm going to Taiwan and Hongkong yay! My life is cool! ^^ but Yudi's going India and Samantha's going to adelaide so... My lovely holiday pales in comparison. :P my friend told me that in Taiwan we eat till we
Drop! Fine by me, I like eating, ^^! But I'm a little worried about dance physical training... Haish. I do like physical training anyway, it's super fun! Yay ^^ my life rocks. I don't even have to worry about the shot lost people worry about. Ok this is get in kinda bratty :p
Brendan why haven't you texted me?!?!
Peace out (;
Just because I have a very natural and perpetual smile does not mean I'm perpetually in a good mood! Some people are just better at covering up sadness, you know? I'm a great actress I. That sense.
I feel empty a lot these days. Not a physical empty desire, just a gaping hole in my life that needs to be filled wih SOMETHING. I'm addicted to linkin park. I'm rolling linkin park all day and all night, it's really affecting my mood. And I feel like every song can describe me some how. I don't know. Their band is my favourite of all time. Hehehehe. Perhaps followed by The first one by boys like girl, and Last night by Keyshia cole feat. P. Diddy. That song is 10 years old and the best one ever.
Did you know that when I talk to a guy, who's like going through puberty and everything, I start talking about the shit girls don't talk about and they're like, "You're horny! Wow you're fun!" See? I should totally be a guy. This is really sad because the guys I like all treat me as their good horny female friend. Whoppee... ._. That really sucks balls.
Anyway, I'm going to Taiwan and Hongkong yay! My life is cool! ^^ but Yudi's going India and Samantha's going to adelaide so... My lovely holiday pales in comparison. :P my friend told me that in Taiwan we eat till we
Drop! Fine by me, I like eating, ^^! But I'm a little worried about dance physical training... Haish. I do like physical training anyway, it's super fun! Yay ^^ my life rocks. I don't even have to worry about the shot lost people worry about. Ok this is get in kinda bratty :p
Brendan why haven't you texted me?!?!
Peace out (;
Monday, 14 November 2011
Fucked over people of the world
My life, on many levels, does not suck. I have good friends. Ok parents, the kind who let you play with your friends and walk away. Cool mum who gets me what I want, 55% of the time... Yeah I guess my life is pretty awesome.
Ok I don't really have a boyfriend but I get what I want from a guy, if you know what I mean. I don't actually base a relationship on emotions and shit. Actually I'm in it for what most guys I'm in it for. I wonder if I was a guy in my pat life. Hmmmmm.
Anyway, love, Is very creepy on many many levels. I mean the kind of shit you would do
For an asshole! Wow. That is defInitly Fucked up. I'm sorry about the random caps. iPhone's a bitch. Love is so... Different to people, to one person love may be paying the other person's bills. Or cooking for them, or maybe even giving them space. It really annoys me when bitches who are in "love" for like what, 3 weeks start whining for the next 6 weeks. AND IT DOESN'T STOP THERE. The next phase is, I am a strong independent girl so don't mess with me! Girl , please! 6 fucking weeks ago you were suicidal! Thennnnn we have the, I may seem so strong now but I'm wailing for help from the "depths of your soul". Haha FUCK OFF. The world needs less losers like you. I used o be one of those dumb bitches. Well I know better now because I understood what I had back then wasn't live, at all. Geeez.
I should really read up on how to dump a guy. There's his asshole
Who still thinks he has a shot with me. After I blocked him on Facebook. I can see why Benjamin was so annoyed with me in my dumb bitch days.
But he cheated so he deserves it bloody fucker.
And I'm right. Everyone guy I've helped leaves anyway. But I don't mind, when they get screwed over again I'll see whether they can find any other bitch who'll listen to their shit without getting disgusted.
Yeah my blog is probably the only place where I can be openly vulgar. Its beautiful. (': an open hole in the vortex of Purity. Fuck is a wonderful world. Sound so nice. Like smock. Some words sound gross. Like sludge. And some sound awesome like scrumptious or scrummy or crunchy or sizzling. Whoa I'm hungry now.
Mmmmm I feel like bacon. I am always up for bacon ^^ bacon ftw.
Ok I don't really have a boyfriend but I get what I want from a guy, if you know what I mean. I don't actually base a relationship on emotions and shit. Actually I'm in it for what most guys I'm in it for. I wonder if I was a guy in my pat life. Hmmmmm.
Anyway, love, Is very creepy on many many levels. I mean the kind of shit you would do
For an asshole! Wow. That is defInitly Fucked up. I'm sorry about the random caps. iPhone's a bitch. Love is so... Different to people, to one person love may be paying the other person's bills. Or cooking for them, or maybe even giving them space. It really annoys me when bitches who are in "love" for like what, 3 weeks start whining for the next 6 weeks. AND IT DOESN'T STOP THERE. The next phase is, I am a strong independent girl so don't mess with me! Girl , please! 6 fucking weeks ago you were suicidal! Thennnnn we have the, I may seem so strong now but I'm wailing for help from the "depths of your soul". Haha FUCK OFF. The world needs less losers like you. I used o be one of those dumb bitches. Well I know better now because I understood what I had back then wasn't live, at all. Geeez.
I should really read up on how to dump a guy. There's his asshole
Who still thinks he has a shot with me. After I blocked him on Facebook. I can see why Benjamin was so annoyed with me in my dumb bitch days.
But he cheated so he deserves it bloody fucker.
And I'm right. Everyone guy I've helped leaves anyway. But I don't mind, when they get screwed over again I'll see whether they can find any other bitch who'll listen to their shit without getting disgusted.
Yeah my blog is probably the only place where I can be openly vulgar. Its beautiful. (': an open hole in the vortex of Purity. Fuck is a wonderful world. Sound so nice. Like smock. Some words sound gross. Like sludge. And some sound awesome like scrumptious or scrummy or crunchy or sizzling. Whoa I'm hungry now.
Mmmmm I feel like bacon. I am always up for bacon ^^ bacon ftw.
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
Rant rant rant
I'm sick of it! Sick and tired of all the shit that wasn't supposed to happen. And it wasn't even that bad. I just need to blow it all off. The steam is just building up so just let me burst the balloon with this rant.
Let's start with the guys. Always guys, never girls because girls don't trust me, guys for some reason, do. I don't know why, maybe it's because they need a girl to talk to, but I'm not just talking about 1 guy I've heard venom from, I'm talking about 4 or 5, and considering the fact that most guys dot trust girl at all, that's quite a number.
I really don't mind listening, I do quite enjoy it, and I just listen and make them feel better and I feel like a great friend... Everyone wins, right?
Wrong fucking wrong.
Do you know that the people who listen to everyone's problems probably don't have anyone to turn to? And this may sound contradictory, but I'm impulsive, but I'm also a bottler, secrets, emotions, you name it, I keep to yours truly. The ones that impish out are the least of my worries. Why the heck would I tell you about shit you people can't fucking resolve? Waste of my time and just more gossiping for you people. Thank you very much.
And the impulsiveness? Purely because u act within the spur of the moment, except shopping. Cause I hate shopping. It's just my personality I suppose. Fast fast chop chop get it done.
Well anyway. What I was mad about was my friend. I gr lovely texts from him like "I'm heartbroken blah blah" and when I ask him questions to allow him to clear up
His thoughts, he asks me to fucking leave him alone. So I do. But I gt hurt anyway.
I never really questions why I made such fast friends with guys. I figured that all girls can be great friends with a guy. Maybe it's cause my dad was my main parent in my life.
You watch pornos? No prob dude I can take that, your girlfriend cheated on you and you are dying inside? Yeah it's cool I'll listen. You masturbate? Yeah I know. No disgust here. She's giving you default answers now? Yeah no worries bro maybe she's busy. She nice to you now? Great, all the best, pal. Wait, it may not last forever? I'll be your friend even though your fucktarded acsi friends will tease you.
Addicted to porn? It's ok, spill your horniness out, I ain't gonna tell nobody who you are, I'll try not I puke when you tell me that the shit you wath gets more hardcore by the day.
Girlfriend fucked you over? Tease me in tuition class? Can't tell your acsi friends because they'll tease you and call you a fag? Ask me what to do? I'll take the teasing, I won't even fucking confront the girl even though I know her personally. I'll even tell you why to do to gt her back, you're almost like your schoolmate in the paragraph before the one above.
Life sucks for you and everyone thinks you're a happy camper? I'll listen to your shit filled life and your love life which your mother destroyed, why? Because I was the only person to see past your happy angel exterior and see right through you. Who the fuck you really are. And of course, no one else knows.
The girl you like rejects you? Fine I'll stand in for you and tell how you feel for old times sake, and because you and the girl are my good friends. Can't top thinking about her before you sleep at night? It's ok, I'll teach ou how to forget the bad times with the previous girl, and you know what? It's ok dude, no One else will ever know who you are. You're just like your great SJI senior up there.
And of course, there's just me looking out for the people who trust me. Am I really that un-girl that you trust me so much? Do you even care about how I feel? I care of course, I want to understand, but have all of you taken that for granted?
Trust me, all of you will Only want to come and talk to me when everything has been fucked over and you need a shoulder to cry on, and for me to fix up the carnage that you yourself fucked over, even when I've told you or hinted to you for a million times, porn is good only if you don't get caught... She's brought you nothing but pain... You dont deserve this just walk away... Of course, it doesn't really matter does it?
There's really no need to be careful when you know someone will pick up the glass pieces for ou shattered, even though she knows she'll get hurt in the process.
Let's start with the guys. Always guys, never girls because girls don't trust me, guys for some reason, do. I don't know why, maybe it's because they need a girl to talk to, but I'm not just talking about 1 guy I've heard venom from, I'm talking about 4 or 5, and considering the fact that most guys dot trust girl at all, that's quite a number.
I really don't mind listening, I do quite enjoy it, and I just listen and make them feel better and I feel like a great friend... Everyone wins, right?
Wrong fucking wrong.
Do you know that the people who listen to everyone's problems probably don't have anyone to turn to? And this may sound contradictory, but I'm impulsive, but I'm also a bottler, secrets, emotions, you name it, I keep to yours truly. The ones that impish out are the least of my worries. Why the heck would I tell you about shit you people can't fucking resolve? Waste of my time and just more gossiping for you people. Thank you very much.
And the impulsiveness? Purely because u act within the spur of the moment, except shopping. Cause I hate shopping. It's just my personality I suppose. Fast fast chop chop get it done.
Well anyway. What I was mad about was my friend. I gr lovely texts from him like "I'm heartbroken blah blah" and when I ask him questions to allow him to clear up
His thoughts, he asks me to fucking leave him alone. So I do. But I gt hurt anyway.
I never really questions why I made such fast friends with guys. I figured that all girls can be great friends with a guy. Maybe it's cause my dad was my main parent in my life.
You watch pornos? No prob dude I can take that, your girlfriend cheated on you and you are dying inside? Yeah it's cool I'll listen. You masturbate? Yeah I know. No disgust here. She's giving you default answers now? Yeah no worries bro maybe she's busy. She nice to you now? Great, all the best, pal. Wait, it may not last forever? I'll be your friend even though your fucktarded acsi friends will tease you.
Addicted to porn? It's ok, spill your horniness out, I ain't gonna tell nobody who you are, I'll try not I puke when you tell me that the shit you wath gets more hardcore by the day.
Girlfriend fucked you over? Tease me in tuition class? Can't tell your acsi friends because they'll tease you and call you a fag? Ask me what to do? I'll take the teasing, I won't even fucking confront the girl even though I know her personally. I'll even tell you why to do to gt her back, you're almost like your schoolmate in the paragraph before the one above.
Life sucks for you and everyone thinks you're a happy camper? I'll listen to your shit filled life and your love life which your mother destroyed, why? Because I was the only person to see past your happy angel exterior and see right through you. Who the fuck you really are. And of course, no one else knows.
The girl you like rejects you? Fine I'll stand in for you and tell how you feel for old times sake, and because you and the girl are my good friends. Can't top thinking about her before you sleep at night? It's ok, I'll teach ou how to forget the bad times with the previous girl, and you know what? It's ok dude, no One else will ever know who you are. You're just like your great SJI senior up there.
And of course, there's just me looking out for the people who trust me. Am I really that un-girl that you trust me so much? Do you even care about how I feel? I care of course, I want to understand, but have all of you taken that for granted?
Trust me, all of you will Only want to come and talk to me when everything has been fucked over and you need a shoulder to cry on, and for me to fix up the carnage that you yourself fucked over, even when I've told you or hinted to you for a million times, porn is good only if you don't get caught... She's brought you nothing but pain... You dont deserve this just walk away... Of course, it doesn't really matter does it?
There's really no need to be careful when you know someone will pick up the glass pieces for ou shattered, even though she knows she'll get hurt in the process.
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
Fall for anything
I feel a bit sorry for all the girls getting played out there because I know how it feels. It feels like shit. Total complete shit. It's almost like, being betrayed by your best friend.
And there's a great song called "Fall for Anything" by The script, who are freaking awesome.
"You gotta stand up for something or you'll for anything"
Which basically means, you have stand your grounds and morals, or you'll just go for any guy.
The song is about a girl who's getting played by a guy and he's trying to tell her to leave him. Because some guys will tell you anything to get, you know.
I'm quite sure most guys aren't like that but I don't understand the joys of doing such a horrible thing, and girls, why don't you just walk away and save yourself from the heartache? And the answer is always, "It's complicated.." Well, it sure isn't. It's just, "I know I gotta leave but I'm scared of being lonely" and "I like him."
I feel so hypocritical because it's exactly what I'm doing now. There's a guy. Of course, why would it be a girl? Straight! And it's been quite a while now. Considering most don't last more than 2 weeks. Is 7 months long? I guess so. 7 months and 1 day. It's a bit scary. Sometimes, I'm scared of what's oing to happen at the end of this roller coaster ride, because it really swings over my mood.
Some days, I feel so upset, I pretend to have a sore throat so I don't have to say anything. And sometimes, I'm so happy, I don't even feel like talking, so I don't spoil my mood.
I really don't know what's going to happen because 89% of the time, this thing is going to crash and burn. And it did! But somehow, we managed to pick up all the pieces together and fit them back. But we lost some pieces. That I'm pretty sure we'll never find again.
Wow this is getting sufficiently emotional, and I feel a bit stupid.
No, I'm very very sure I'm not in love. I am not so stupid to think that love is something you feel. Well, I used to. Crashed and burned. Because love, is not what you feel for someone, it's what you'd do for someone. It's like looking at all the shit that you went through with that person, and you can say, with no hesistation, even if it didn't work out, "I'd do it all over again."
I really don't think I'd say that because this kind of shit has it's boundaries and I would much rather steer clear unless it was my family.
I guess, it's also love, if you're willing to leave that one person so they can be happy.
But, you know, we're selfish creatures of the deep.
Unlike most people, I have never thought that someone's life was ever perfect. Because I know, with all my heart, that nobody is ever gonna be happy. Even though their life may be an epitome of perfection to someone, shit goes down. Maybe it's not shit to you, but it's not your life. It's this guy's life. And shit, to this guy, is still shit. So life, by definition is still a crock full of shit.
Yeah, life loves turds.
Karma is like, a sorry excuse for the bricks life likes to throw in your face, "past-life,your fault, bitch!"
Finger up to life. I'll probably get hit with a brick in my next life, but who gives a shit?
Maybe I will in my "next life", but I sure as hell don't now.
And there's a great song called "Fall for Anything" by The script, who are freaking awesome.
"You gotta stand up for something or you'll for anything"
Which basically means, you have stand your grounds and morals, or you'll just go for any guy.
The song is about a girl who's getting played by a guy and he's trying to tell her to leave him. Because some guys will tell you anything to get, you know.
I'm quite sure most guys aren't like that but I don't understand the joys of doing such a horrible thing, and girls, why don't you just walk away and save yourself from the heartache? And the answer is always, "It's complicated.." Well, it sure isn't. It's just, "I know I gotta leave but I'm scared of being lonely" and "I like him."
I feel so hypocritical because it's exactly what I'm doing now. There's a guy. Of course, why would it be a girl? Straight! And it's been quite a while now. Considering most don't last more than 2 weeks. Is 7 months long? I guess so. 7 months and 1 day. It's a bit scary. Sometimes, I'm scared of what's oing to happen at the end of this roller coaster ride, because it really swings over my mood.
Some days, I feel so upset, I pretend to have a sore throat so I don't have to say anything. And sometimes, I'm so happy, I don't even feel like talking, so I don't spoil my mood.
I really don't know what's going to happen because 89% of the time, this thing is going to crash and burn. And it did! But somehow, we managed to pick up all the pieces together and fit them back. But we lost some pieces. That I'm pretty sure we'll never find again.
Wow this is getting sufficiently emotional, and I feel a bit stupid.
No, I'm very very sure I'm not in love. I am not so stupid to think that love is something you feel. Well, I used to. Crashed and burned. Because love, is not what you feel for someone, it's what you'd do for someone. It's like looking at all the shit that you went through with that person, and you can say, with no hesistation, even if it didn't work out, "I'd do it all over again."
I really don't think I'd say that because this kind of shit has it's boundaries and I would much rather steer clear unless it was my family.
I guess, it's also love, if you're willing to leave that one person so they can be happy.
But, you know, we're selfish creatures of the deep.
Unlike most people, I have never thought that someone's life was ever perfect. Because I know, with all my heart, that nobody is ever gonna be happy. Even though their life may be an epitome of perfection to someone, shit goes down. Maybe it's not shit to you, but it's not your life. It's this guy's life. And shit, to this guy, is still shit. So life, by definition is still a crock full of shit.
Yeah, life loves turds.
Karma is like, a sorry excuse for the bricks life likes to throw in your face, "past-life,your fault, bitch!"
Finger up to life. I'll probably get hit with a brick in my next life, but who gives a shit?
Maybe I will in my "next life", but I sure as hell don't now.
Tuesday, 11 October 2011
Exams tomorrow!
Ahhhhh! I'm so nervous, cause tomorrow's my exam and I'm quite sure I'll do okay because I did well for my mock papers. So it doesn't make sense if I don't do well for this exam unless it grows up to this humongous mind-blowing shitty exam paper.
Nah it'll be okay.
So I was just reading something about Junko Furuta, and that scary is scary as shit.
She was actually really pretty, but then, she got screwed over by a bunch of idiots and then, she died. She was raped, like, every day, for 44 days. And they stuck fireworks up her ass... and lighted it! Eurghhh...
On a side note, I really wonder if you can still achieve the awesome orgasm when you're getting rape. Or will the trauma just shove it aside? I don't know...
here's tonnes of other shit that happened to her.. and it's just disgusting. Raped over 400 times?! And at least a hundred other people knew, and they didn't help.Because some guy was connected to the Yakuza. That is so screwed up! It just goes against all human morals!
Light bulb up her thing?! That's pure torture...
Humans can become such dicks.
Nah it'll be okay.
So I was just reading something about Junko Furuta, and that scary is scary as shit.
She was actually really pretty, but then, she got screwed over by a bunch of idiots and then, she died. She was raped, like, every day, for 44 days. And they stuck fireworks up her ass... and lighted it! Eurghhh...
On a side note, I really wonder if you can still achieve the awesome orgasm when you're getting rape. Or will the trauma just shove it aside? I don't know...
here's tonnes of other shit that happened to her.. and it's just disgusting. Raped over 400 times?! And at least a hundred other people knew, and they didn't help.Because some guy was connected to the Yakuza. That is so screwed up! It just goes against all human morals!
Light bulb up her thing?! That's pure torture...
Humans can become such dicks.
Monday, 10 October 2011
Sugar we're going down swinging, it's a great song by fall out boy :D
Have you ever felt like you're going to break down, and stay down? Like you have been cut so badly, you can't get up again?
Well, I guess it's ok to feel like that because life is full of hurt and pain, basically, experience.
Just bear in mind that whatever pain you feel now will eventually go away, because that's what time does. Time heals and life brings on wave after wave of pain, but time is a wonderful thing.
I'm quite sure something horrible must've happened to you some time ago, but now it's just a dull ache. It's not a fresh wound. But scars never fade, so the very memory of it will always be there, ready to hurt you. I guess, you can never stop making it hurt, but you can make sure that it doesn't stay on your mind. By diverting your thought process, you can put a stop on the leak of bad memories ensuing your brain.
I think that when we're sad and crying, because we're emotional so on and so forth, we tend to repeat a certain phrase in our head that keeps us crying, I think it's cause we like to feel vulnerable, in a sense. We want to be pitied, cuddled, hugged.
Like when we're angry, we don't want to come down from our angry high so we spew venom and curse and swear, because, it feels good. Also, because after spewing out all your angst, you have to apologize to everyone, and that doesn't exactly feel good either. Because, we don't like to be wrong, do we?
On a another point, words really do hurt sometimes. Just a fleeting comment can just flip your mood over completely! "Fat", for example, or "ugly" or "geeky" "weird " "awkward", your world's best friend can tell you that, but it's still going to make you hurt like crazy. Well, some days it just hurts more than others, you know? It really depends on your mood.
Really makes you wonder if you've hurt anyone lately, right?
Also, as humans we love to pick out other people's differences. Do you know why? Because we want negative attention to be diverted to someone else. Why? So it doesn't go to us, of course! Simple isn't it? There is a small problem though, it creates a viscous cycle, I tease you, you tease somebody else, somebody else teases somebody else... See how it works? This is how bullies are born, precisely why bullies are labelled cowards.
I think my blog is kinda boring because I don't gossip about anyone in school, but I really don't see the point of having a blog if all I'm going to do is gripe about my friends, and anyway, I really don't have a problem with anyone ever. Just a mild irritation, that's all.
Adele "Someone like you" is awesome, and Pixie Lott's "Broken arrow".
Tetris is a great game, too! (:
Well, I guess it's ok to feel like that because life is full of hurt and pain, basically, experience.
Just bear in mind that whatever pain you feel now will eventually go away, because that's what time does. Time heals and life brings on wave after wave of pain, but time is a wonderful thing.
I'm quite sure something horrible must've happened to you some time ago, but now it's just a dull ache. It's not a fresh wound. But scars never fade, so the very memory of it will always be there, ready to hurt you. I guess, you can never stop making it hurt, but you can make sure that it doesn't stay on your mind. By diverting your thought process, you can put a stop on the leak of bad memories ensuing your brain.
I think that when we're sad and crying, because we're emotional so on and so forth, we tend to repeat a certain phrase in our head that keeps us crying, I think it's cause we like to feel vulnerable, in a sense. We want to be pitied, cuddled, hugged.
Like when we're angry, we don't want to come down from our angry high so we spew venom and curse and swear, because, it feels good. Also, because after spewing out all your angst, you have to apologize to everyone, and that doesn't exactly feel good either. Because, we don't like to be wrong, do we?
On a another point, words really do hurt sometimes. Just a fleeting comment can just flip your mood over completely! "Fat", for example, or "ugly" or "geeky" "weird " "awkward", your world's best friend can tell you that, but it's still going to make you hurt like crazy. Well, some days it just hurts more than others, you know? It really depends on your mood.
Really makes you wonder if you've hurt anyone lately, right?
Also, as humans we love to pick out other people's differences. Do you know why? Because we want negative attention to be diverted to someone else. Why? So it doesn't go to us, of course! Simple isn't it? There is a small problem though, it creates a viscous cycle, I tease you, you tease somebody else, somebody else teases somebody else... See how it works? This is how bullies are born, precisely why bullies are labelled cowards.
I think my blog is kinda boring because I don't gossip about anyone in school, but I really don't see the point of having a blog if all I'm going to do is gripe about my friends, and anyway, I really don't have a problem with anyone ever. Just a mild irritation, that's all.
Adele "Someone like you" is awesome, and Pixie Lott's "Broken arrow".
Tetris is a great game, too! (:
Sunday, 9 October 2011
I wish I were skinnier, very girl thing to wish for eh?
In any case, I do wish I were skinnier. I don't think I'm like, obese or anything. But I wish I were slimmer T_T like how a guy wishes his dick were bigger or something. I don't know.
But I don't really mind "me" because I like being me (: my life is a lot better, when rid of counting calories and get of stepping on measuring scales.
FAT AND PROUD.
Well.. Problem is I'm not that fat T_T
But of personality counts then I do like myself. I mean I'd do me. /:
Will blog later when have the mood. Zzz.
But I don't really mind "me" because I like being me (: my life is a lot better, when rid of counting calories and get of stepping on measuring scales.
FAT AND PROUD.
Well.. Problem is I'm not that fat T_T
But of personality counts then I do like myself. I mean I'd do me. /:
Will blog later when have the mood. Zzz.
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