What do you do to distress?
I swim like hell. I pull back water and I propel myself through the water. I feel comfortable. At home. In control.
Do I think about other stuff?
No.
My thoughts purely orbit around which lap I'm on. And time melts into laps. Seconds into metres, each pull and push I make becomes a measurement of time itself.
I love it.
When I get back my thoughts revolve around how to help my friend. I cannot stop thinking or stop helping because I don't know what will happen if I don't come with a solution quickly.
It's like that book, from 13 reasons why: you cared, but you didn't care enough to save me.
I'm scared that maybe, if someone I know dies, or commits suicide, it will be because I didn't do enough to help
them.
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