Wednesday 12 October 2011

Fall for anything

I feel a bit sorry for all the girls getting played out there because I know how it feels. It feels like shit. Total complete shit. It's almost like, being betrayed by your best friend.

And there's a great song called "Fall for Anything" by The script, who are freaking awesome.

"You gotta stand up for something or you'll for anything"
Which basically means, you have stand your grounds and morals, or you'll just go for any guy.
The song is about a girl who's getting played by a guy and he's trying to tell her to leave him. Because some guys will tell you anything to get, you know.

I'm quite sure most guys aren't like that but I don't understand the joys of doing such a horrible thing, and girls, why don't you just walk away and save yourself from the heartache? And the answer is always, "It's complicated.." Well, it sure isn't. It's just, "I know I gotta leave but I'm scared of being lonely" and "I like him."

I feel so hypocritical because it's exactly what I'm doing now. There's a guy. Of course, why would it be a girl? Straight! And it's been quite a while now. Considering most don't last more than 2 weeks. Is 7 months long? I guess so. 7 months and 1 day. It's a bit scary. Sometimes, I'm scared of what's oing to happen at the end of this roller coaster ride, because it really swings over my mood.

Some days, I feel so upset, I pretend to have a sore throat so I don't have to say anything. And sometimes, I'm so happy, I don't even feel like talking, so I don't spoil my mood.

I really don't know what's going to happen because 89% of the time, this thing is going to crash and burn. And it did! But somehow, we managed to pick up all the pieces together and fit them back. But we lost some pieces. That I'm pretty sure we'll never find again.

Wow this is getting sufficiently emotional, and I feel a bit stupid.

No, I'm very very sure I'm not in love. I am not so stupid to think that love is something you feel. Well, I used to. Crashed and burned. Because love, is not what you feel for someone, it's what you'd do for someone. It's like looking at all the shit that you went through with that person, and you can say, with no hesistation, even if it didn't work out, "I'd do it all over again."

I really don't think I'd say that because this kind of shit has it's boundaries and I would much rather steer clear unless it was my family.

I guess, it's also love, if you're willing to leave that one person so they can be happy.

But, you know, we're selfish creatures of the deep.

Unlike most people, I have never thought that someone's life was ever perfect. Because I know, with all my heart, that nobody is ever gonna be happy. Even though their life may be an epitome of perfection to someone, shit goes down. Maybe it's not shit to you, but it's not your life. It's this guy's life. And shit, to this guy, is still shit. So life, by definition is still a crock full of shit.

Yeah, life loves turds.

Karma is like, a sorry excuse for the bricks life likes to throw in your face, "past-life,your fault, bitch!"

Finger up to life. I'll probably get hit with a brick in my next life, but who gives a shit?

Maybe I will in my "next life", but I sure as hell don't now.

Tuesday 11 October 2011

Exams tomorrow!

Ahhhhh! I'm so nervous, cause tomorrow's my exam and I'm quite sure I'll do okay because I did well for my mock papers. So it doesn't make sense if I don't do well for this exam unless it grows up to this humongous mind-blowing shitty exam paper.

Nah it'll be okay.

So I was just reading something about Junko Furuta, and that scary is scary as shit.

She was actually really pretty, but then, she got screwed over by a bunch of idiots and then, she died. She was raped, like, every day, for 44 days. And they stuck fireworks up her ass... and lighted it! Eurghhh...

On a side note, I really wonder if you can still achieve the awesome orgasm when you're getting rape. Or will the trauma just shove it aside? I don't know...

here's tonnes of other shit that happened to her.. and it's just disgusting. Raped over 400 times?! And at least a hundred other people knew, and they didn't help.Because some guy was connected to the Yakuza. That is so screwed up! It just goes against all human morals!

Light bulb up her thing?! That's pure torture...

Humans can become such dicks.

Monday 10 October 2011

Sugar we're going down swinging, it's a great song by fall out boy :D

Have you ever felt like you're going to break down, and stay down? Like you have been cut so badly, you can't get up again?

Well, I guess it's ok to feel like that  because life is full of hurt and pain, basically, experience.

Just bear in mind that whatever pain you feel now will eventually go away, because that's what time does. Time heals and life brings on wave after wave of pain, but time is a wonderful thing.

I'm quite sure something horrible must've happened to you some time ago, but now it's just a dull ache. It's not a fresh wound. But scars never fade, so the very memory of it will always be there, ready to hurt you. I guess, you can never stop making it hurt, but you can make sure that it doesn't stay on your mind. By diverting your thought process, you can put a stop on the leak of bad memories ensuing your brain.

I think that when we're sad and crying, because we're emotional so on and so forth, we tend to repeat a certain phrase in our head that keeps us crying, I think it's cause we like to feel vulnerable, in a sense. We want to be pitied, cuddled, hugged.

Like when we're angry, we don't want to come down from our angry high so we spew venom and curse and swear, because, it feels good. Also, because after spewing out all your angst, you have to apologize to everyone, and that doesn't exactly feel good either. Because, we don't like to be wrong, do we?

On a another point, words really do hurt sometimes. Just a fleeting comment can just flip your mood over completely! "Fat", for example, or "ugly" or "geeky" "weird " "awkward", your world's best friend can tell you that, but it's still going to make you hurt like crazy. Well, some days it just hurts more than others, you know? It really depends on your mood.

Really makes you wonder if you've hurt anyone lately, right?

Also, as humans we love to pick out other people's differences. Do you know why? Because we want negative attention to be diverted to someone else. Why? So it doesn't go to us, of course! Simple isn't it? There is a small problem though, it creates a viscous cycle, I tease you, you tease somebody else, somebody else teases somebody else... See how it works? This is how bullies are born, precisely why bullies are labelled cowards.

I think my blog is kinda boring because I don't gossip about anyone in school, but I really don't see the point of having a blog if all I'm going to do is gripe about my friends, and anyway, I really don't have a problem with anyone ever. Just a mild irritation, that's all.

Adele "Someone like you" is awesome, and Pixie Lott's "Broken arrow".

Tetris is a great game, too! (:

Sunday 9 October 2011

I wish I were skinnier, very girl thing to wish for eh?

In any case, I do wish I were skinnier. I don't think I'm like, obese or anything. But I wish I were slimmer T_T like how a guy wishes his dick were bigger or something. I don't know.

But I don't really mind "me" because I like being me (: my life is a lot better, when rid of counting calories and get of stepping on measuring scales.

FAT AND PROUD.

Well.. Problem is I'm not that fat T_T
But of personality counts then I do like myself. I mean I'd do me. /:

Will blog later when have the mood. Zzz.