Haters gonna hate

Kinda boring day. Ate food. Rash at my chest.. Arghhh itchy itchy!

And seriously I haven't had a clue about relationships. All my life I figured it was a I like you you like me lets get married have great sex and have shitty moronic kids and flush our dreams down the toilet whoppee.

So I had a boyfriend like 4 hours ago and now we're.. What the heck are we. No idea.

So I'm kinda like a clueless stumbling troll just trampling on my relationships lah see dah, screw it to me it was a game. Yeah I'll tease you. Tell you I love you. Then we get horny and I don't have sex with you.

Then I leave.

Doesn't this sound like a total jerk ass guy? Except that he'd have sex of course. But seriously. I think I jut have a guy personality. I kinda dislike taking to girls. Their so confusing damnit. And if I insult them and joke around, they turn and go, "HMPH! Low EQ bastard."

Screw you crappy thin skinned girls. You shouldn't care about what I say,
But screw you anyway.

Down to today's small fact.

Let's set it straight people! You can never please everyone.

Never!

At least once in your lifetime someone is going to screw up your reputation. Maybe it's when you're 15.
Or maybe when you're 50.

It will happen.

I mean, for some people, having sex in the car is no big deal. Come on, most people in college lose their virginities in cars. Why the heck should the vice president be any different?

I'm kinda referring to USA here cause it doesn't happen much in my Asian part of the globe.

What I'm trying to say is that, whatever ruins your reputation, may not be a big deal. Screw you. Whoever made a big deal of it probably made it a big deal only because you did it.

If you had a class whore. And you told someone she slept with a guy last night. Their reaction would be:

So?

Now if you told that same someone that the guy she slept with was her boyfriend, her reaction would probably be along the lines of:

MOTHERFUCKER!

Sorry about vulgarities but I'm trying to portray an accurate scenario.

So small fact of life #6: you yourself define what people think and say about you, even the bad stuff.

Ok so if you're talking about a whore, "sleeping around" is not the worse thing she can do. Maybe, making porn or whatever.

Ok. That's all I have to say tonight:S


Embrace yourself!

Small facts of life make life complete(;

Attention seekers/ money and happiness

Today was a Tuesday. And i bought lots of food so I'm quite happy.

Small fact of life #4: it's ok to seek attention.

Let's face it people.

We're all attention-seekers. Why the hell would we make a Facebook status? Talk to someone? Seek approval?

We want attention.

The difference between labelled attention-seekers and normal people are that they're annoying. Screw you I'm happy to like your status about how your dad is a total asscrack but I don't give a shit about how you ate a muffin today. Unless you make it funny. I'm happy to like the photograph of our class smiling at the camera, but shit you if you're going to make an album with 3000 pictures and post 20 new pictures, like everyday, and expect me to not get annoyed.

Haha my point is, of you're going to seek attention don't be annoying about it.

So anyway today I was watching a biography on Mike Tyson, and there was this bit where his chauffeur said something, that really struck me.

Small fact of life #5: money can't buy you happiness, it buys you time, until you realize you're not happy.

Which is perfectly true.

Let's say ice cream makes you happy.

Can you buy ice cream with money?

Sure.

But when you realize that you don't have anymore money to buy ice cream, you're not happy anymore, are you?

Let's take something money can't buy.

Family. Friends.

Can they make you happy?

Of course.

If one day you find yourself sitting at home without money to spend, can you still be happy? Yes, I believe you can. If you stay with someone you love, and that someone loves you back, I believe you can be happy.and not a cent in the world can give you that, neither can it take that happiness away from you.

Here comes the rant.

Just on a side note, if you think I'm fake in real life, maybe it's cause I am. I'm hiding something. Maybe that's why I can't focus do hard on my EQ and watch out for other people's feelings. I'm trying not to leak my own. I'm freaking trying to compensate for something dude. Screw you if you can't see that. And honestly I couldn't care less if the whole class thinks I'm a fake bitch. Go ahead fuckers! Go think I'm a fake. All of you are girls so I don't trust you at all. Bullshitters. Girls think a bit too much into a situation. Even now, I used I a girl in my class was fake and dumb, and subsequently I just felt like she was nice and trying a bit too hard.

Look I'm fake because I you want the truth, I look at your score at tests or whatever and I feel like saying, "dude you fucking suck."

But no. You'd get pissed.

So I go fucking cheery and say, "Nevermind try harder next time." (:

And I'm fake?

Fuck you.

I have low EQ? Screw you. For the next few days or weeks whatever I will ignore you. Then you won't have to put up with me. Let's play it this way ok? Course I'm not gonna do that. I'll just talk a lot less.

I can't tell what you're saying over text message. -.-

So whatever. Really. You know that day of the band thing. God, I didn't even really wanna go. I wanted to go for the performance but when you make me wait for 25 minutes at the mall I got so mad. Seriously but I'm not even going to show it to you and your friend but of course I'm put in a bad mood.

Did you know, I'm usually always in a bad mood, I just never ever show it?

I'm a bottler. As a kid I was always quick tempered. I just pushed it in. And I still do. And I just pretend I'm not mad. When I get mad it's only for like 10 seconds and I shove it all the way down. And it does affect my EQ ok? I'm always in bad mood but I refuse to affect other people so I just get ierly perky and of course "FAKE".

Fuck you if you think I'm stupid for bottling it up. If you want me to give you a glare for turning up late or making me eat overprice food or just talking so much about yourself in general, go ahead.

Of course I'm not going to treat you any different.

I don't want you to feel like I hate you.

I don't.

I never ever hate people. I'm a bottler. I don't hate people. I somehow convince myself that I shouldn't blow up in their faces.

Ok. I'm done. If you're reading this, and you think it's you, I'll be awfully quiet around you, I'm angry, but I won't stay that way.

Embrace yourself!

Small facts of life make life complete. (;

Unsuspecting Perpetrators via Humor/ Striving for Perfection

Hey.

Before I go into the whole small fact topic for today, I kinda just wanna, megalomaniac all over my blog.

Hell yeah I think I'm important even
though I'm probably an insignificant pawn. Look up megalomaniac.

And so here goes.

I am so fucking tired.

Physically and mentally and emotionally taxed.

Most of the time I feel like a druggie. Or just empty. Druggie as in, well, this morning I was walking around and everything became kinda blurry and the lights were kinda rainbow and flashing. And I just felt so giddy and disconnected. Yeah yeah man. Sure. Whatever dude.

And I just feel so drained. There is no soul. I'm completely sucked dry.

And nobody knows. I owe it to my humor. I make living life look like I'm cruising. That my life is full if jokes. Which it isn't. I just make it look picture perfect.

Screw it. Life is too short to be tired.

Small fact of life #2: drawing the line

Sometimes we say things that other people hear differently.

You know, classic example.

I say you're "big" and you think I'm calling you fat when I mean you're a "big girl now"

That happened a week ago. To me. Big girl.

I think it may be because I think I'm fat? Screw this shit. You know I think I'm scared of finding out shit on myself.

I watched a movie with like nudity today and it was like, "this is not heaven, you don't have to be perfect"

Well said, sir.

Let's make it small fact of life #3;
Don't waste your time being perfect.

Look, perfection is unachievable. Ever. So why waste your time? Give it your best shot. Perfection is boring. Mistakes are interesting. No one wants to hear about how the teachers' pet dusted the erasers voluntarily. They wanna hear about how the teacher made out with the superintendent.

Personally I feel that we were perfect on the first place, once we screw up we don't get to go back to perfect status.

Yeah that's all I have to say now.



Embrace yourself!


Small facts of life make life complete (;

Humor me!

Just wanna say sorry to the person who tried to talk to me last night. Sleep regiment blah.

And well. Today my dad drank some. And he started talking about how I fail in life and shit like that.

I can take it. But it hurts. Well what can I say? I don't choose my parents so...

Well um, today I was gonna talk about some deep shit about life and cake but I don't feel like talking deep today cause well I kinda wanna live up to the title up there...

So I'm gonna do a small fact of life everyday (: yay!

It may be a quote from a good book or just something I came up with but hey, I try. I'll make it a personal commitment. Like not watching porn.

Yeah just by the way, I don't watch porn.

Well I really don't like to rag out on people much. I really don't have a lot of hate. I just save it up copiously for
one person.

Did I mention I detest camwhorers?

Ugh. Maybe it's because I'm jealous you know? Pretty people. Well, my maid said that I'm not pretty. But I'm "good-looking"? Errrr what? Is that like, ugly but i have a cute smile?

Haha actually she means that I am not pretty but I have a cool personality and it shows.

Er okay now I know how not do pretty people pick up dates XD

So today I think I'll talk about humor.

Humor.

As a kid I always wanted to be the funny girl. You know. You make people laugh and you feel like laughing inside?

Spreading joy. Kinda.

Small fact of life #1

How to be funny:
1) make fun of people.
2) make fun of yourself.

That's how most people do it, and you laugh at my jokes so don't say that I'm a bully.

Actually I missed out one and that is to be clueless. You know, asking dumb questions? But don't overdo it. It gets kinda annoying. That kinda falls on making fun of yourself right?

But see, making fun people. Hmmm. Best yet most hurtful way to make people laugh. Sheesh. My friend once remarked, "you know Naomi, you can say some pretty hurtful stuff, but you make sound so, normal"

Wow. Gee. I've taken mean to a whole new level! Wow I'm saving this topic for tomorrow.

Back to humor.

I think I like it because it allowed me to get attention without being annoying. Ah ok new topic for next time.

I mean no one hates the class clown. Except maybe some assholes who are jealous or the poor asscrack who got
nubbed on.

Well. I pride myself in having a good sense of humor. So... Yup! I like myself like that :D

Embrace yourself!

(; small facts of life make life complete.

Tuition tomorrow

Sigh. I don't really feel like blogging. I
Don't get it. I want to help other people. I want to know about then and their problems.

But I can't do that for myself.
I don't know why. Argh.

Do I sound like a girl in my posts? I don't think I have a character unlike a guy. Sigh. Shall attempt to sleep with soothing tunes by linkin park.

There's a reason why I don't like to talk much around girls. I can't joke by insulting them openly as a laugh. But u can when I'm with guys. So yeah. Among a lot of girls. I'm kinda quiet.

Really. I mean I can feel slightly stung if a girl or guy insults me, but I kinda insult back if it's a guy because I know he doesn't mean it.

But with girls, I really can't tell.

You know when they say, "you're/ she's like, sooo fake." I kinda just agree cause, you know. I can't tell. And I can't tell if I sound fake. Cause I don't think that deep. If someone says something to me that does sound a little fake I just dismiss it and take it as whatever, a heartfelt encouragement.

Wow I'm really kinda guy.

Sigh goodnight.

The little things give you away

All you ever wanted was someone to truly look up to you.
And at six feet, under the water, I... Do.

Perfect rhythm and the words are so good to sing along to. Linkin park's the best.

And then we have my LMFAO binge.

Sigh. My life is like... Repetition repetition repetition. I quote my Facebook status...

"My life is like a roller coaster I've sat in a million times.

Going down, fun! Going up, ahhhh crap.

And it gets a little bit more dull each rise and fall."

I sound like I'm a meth addict. God. Anyway. I understand that the first blast of awesome is so good. But see after that the crash is harder. It's like, the higher you jump the greater the height you fall from.

Which is true. Plus it hurts a lot more.

So I've gotten over a lot of guys in my life. It's always the same crush-crush feeling I got since I was small. But then, well. Nowadays the crushes don't even feel like "love" anymore. It's like, whoa you're cute. -move along- and if the guy doesn't like me, I'm kinda like "shrug, imma keep rollin'."

I think everyone has dirty little secrets. Mine is just. A lot dirtier.

Ok I'm tired it's 1:59 and I've broken my early night regimen do screw this shit. I'm sleeping.


Don't wanna reach for me do you, I mean nothing to you, the little things give you away.
-linkin park.

Vaguely annoyed

Friend who I was talking to last night, I'm sorry I had to go because my dad wanted to take my phone from me. :P

Then I took his blackberry, then he took it back. Then he came back and threw his phone onto the floor and said that I could have it if I wanted.

So I took it! Duhhhhh.

In the morning, he was like, "where's my phone?" then I got out of bed an took it for him, then climbed back into bed.

In the morning, after brunch, my phone was back on the table. Whoopee, which is why I can blog now.

There's a really good song by linkin park, it's called "hands held high" and at the end there's a perfect line that goes, "hands held high into the sky so blue, as the ocean opens up to swallow you"

Sounds so poetic! <3

But what really caught me is the meaning in which we feel a freedom, as we're getting pulled back under control. Perhaps it means surrender.

Just practicing for my lit. Here.
Last night I watched the adventures of tintin! It wasn't a waste of money, I'll say. It's quite nice(:

Anyway, got to go do my math paper /:

Will blog later.

Art spam

Hmm, like any artist I enjoy sharing my works with the world, so you can appreciate it or just hate on it, oh whatever. Enjoy!

Masks

Few of us actually know what kind of people we are. Are you emotional? Or nonchalant about most things? Are you chatty and extroverted? Or quiet and introverted? Confident and loud? Nervous and shy?

The list goes on.

Maybe to your mother you are kind and endearing, to your father cold, but strong, to your younger brother, firm and responsible. So many people, to each we show a face, a mask is then borrowed, to plaster on your face.

Maybe your dad shouted at you in the car this morning, but in front of your peers, you paste on a smiling mask to hide your disgrace.

See?

The question is, who are we? Under the mask, what is under the mask? I don't know. I don't really want to know about myself.

I guess it's because I'm scared I'll see a monster, something I am, but something I shouldn't be.

To those of you who say that "I am who I am, problem, bitch?"

You're wrong, underneath the skin we're all the same. They're inside all of us. Driving our very emotions and actions. Generating every thought. But our conscience is there, and our souls, not to forget, society.

Monsters. Hiding behind our masks.

Swimming and being a good listener

What do you do to distress?

I swim like hell. I pull back water and I propel myself through the water. I feel comfortable. At home. In control.

Do I think about other stuff?
No.
My thoughts purely orbit around which lap I'm on. And time melts into laps. Seconds into metres, each pull and push I make becomes a measurement of time itself.

I love it.

When I get back my thoughts revolve around how to help my friend. I cannot stop thinking or stop helping because I don't know what will happen if I don't come with a solution quickly.

It's like that book, from 13 reasons why: you cared, but you didn't care enough to save me.

I'm scared that maybe, if someone I know dies, or commits suicide, it will be because I didn't do enough to help
them.

Dearest me,

You are a jerk by many definitions. You don't love a guy but you tell him you do.

You give great advice, but you can't follow your own.

You are a jerk to others and yourself.

You probably don't give a shit about anyone on the outside, but when it comes to personal stuff you have a truckload of care and patience. You who cannot stitch or knit without screaming in frustration.

You get over things so easily! Why can't you just stay angry at an asshole for once? Like a normal person?!

You never get angry or frustrated. But you spew out at yourself. You take in everyone's shit and you take a bath I it. Maybe this is a form of self-inflicted pain. Screw it, it's my way of staying alive.

You don't study. You get good grades.

You're a fake. You know you are. You're a nice girl aren't you? But I know you, Naomi, you laugh at everyone under the blanket. You judge. You lable.

You're kinda like a slut. You arouse guys for the heck of it. You don't watch porn, but at the rate you're going you're probably going to be a part of one.

You don't really care about yourself do you?

Ever since you were a little girl, what was most important wasn't you was it? Always mummy and daddy. Always somebody else.

What did they say? "make daddy proud" "make god proud" never ever "make yourself feel proud"

Can anyone hear my plea for help help?

Algebra FOIL method has foiled me.

Sigh. Algebra algebra, why do you muddle up my brain like that? >~< My mind is muddled up enough as it is.

Dear Naomi, why are you always so complicated? You don't like the guy, but you don't turn him down either. Why? Because you don't know how to. Simple as that. I think this is the problem with my empathetic personality. I think a lot about how sad and horrible the guy may feel. Most girls just straight out say "no."

Crap. Dilemma dilemma.

Not exactly because I know which guy I like and which guy I don't, and there seems to be a surprising amount who like me. But I know they don't like ME. They like the open horniness. Which is rare in today's society.

That really sucks.

I'll give you a rough comparison, it's like a guy liking you just because you have great tits. Which is dumb, obviously.

But there is a guy who likes me and he's against horniness of any kind. Not against, but you know, he's conservative. And I don't like him! 0:
What a mess.

Life always has some way to hold me and screw me. I can't even scream out against it. Maybe these seem like trivial matters, but I don't know, to me it isn't. It is a humongous problem. Because I really don't want to hurt anyone the way I was hurt previously, so yeah.

I read a comic that really made sense.

"there isn't any real love,
I think the closest we get is horny,
Then we get scared of the rest of the world,
Then we stick together"

Think about it you bimbos preaching about love and butterflies out there. What are you feeling, really?

I think I shall try to curb the horniness on other guys and just reserve it all for my fuck buddy.

Zzzzzz.

See here's the conversation between me and the fuck buddy:

Me: so how do I tell him I don't like him?
Fb: Tell him to his face.
Me: but that's mean...
Fb: we're guys. We can take it.
Me: yeah ok. What if the guy keeps on talking to me?
Fb: ignore. Eventually he will get the message.

HAHAHA YES!!! I will finally get rid of
Jamarcus! I like my fuck buddy ^^

Anyway. Peeeeeaaaace.

Feeling preppy

Ok I always always feel sorta clean and.. Crisp? In the morning. You know crisp as in, "the crisp morning air tinged with the scent of mint made her feel like another person in her shoes" that kind of feeling makes you feel renewed I guess.

Unfortunately in Singapore we don't have "crisp" morning air. We don't have the kind of air that nibbles at your skin and leaves a slight prickling sensation. We have damp humid air and if you head to botanic gardens after it rains, you'll have that accompanied with the aroma of dead leaves that litter the ground. Oh joy.

Back to the topic, I actually feel like a new person in the morning, like my sin the previous night before have been swept away. By sins I mean hardcore sins. But I don't look like that person do I?

In any case, in the morning I think the same thing, "oh god, did I really really do that?" and unfortunately the answer is, "yes, yes you did." whoa that's kinda phineas and ferb. And I just die a little bit inside, but at night I'm back doing shit. God damn. I am so confusing. Wonder if there are other people like that...

Secret confession, for all my sins I have yet to watch porn. Why? I've done so many crappy fucked up shit before I am not going to add watching porn to my list.

That's what I'm gonna say anyway.

At the moment I'm waiting for time to pass so I can go for stock check at 1 great. Sigh.

I can't understand sarcasm on the Internet or via text message because I need to hear the tone and everything. Auditory person here! So I sound really stupid, insensitive and idiotic on the web. Sometimes in real life I can't help it because, well, some people just can't pull off sarcasm!

How did I even start talking about sarcasm? Beats me. To lazy to flick upwards.

I think I'd like to rant about the assholes in my school. My seniors are fine, they're really nice (:

Unfortunately, people in my batch are rather weird. Firstly, dear girls. There is a huge difference between being corrupted and being horny. Thinking about shit related to sex does not mean wanting to have sex! If you say that "bushes" equates "dick", you need to seriously stave off whatever you've been doing. Saying that something sounds wrong does not equate to wanting to drop down and masturbate on the ground!

Secondly, don't say I'm attention seeking because I fucking answer the question all the time. In any case there are probably 2 reasons why the rest of the fucking class is not answering:
1) you don't know the answer
2) you don't want to answer
If you don't know the answer, isn't it a good thing that someone who knows the answer, says the answer? What the heck you ungrateful moron.
If you don't want to answer the question, I'm answering it for you so I don't see why you have anything to complain about!
And "give other people a chance" FUCK YOU if other people wanted the fucking chance they should shout it out. I mean if you really wanted to answer just say it! What the hell man.
For the record, when I didn't come and mindy kept quiet ALL OF YOU GOT
SCREWED OVER!

Let me explain why, usually when me and mindy answer the question, we save you from sudden death round, a.k.a the teacher calls up index number, and if you don't know the right answer you die and you remain standing. Why? Because he gets agitated that no one bothers to answer the question. Sheesh! How asshole can you get? We're doing you a favour and you punch us in the face. Screw you guys who say we're attention seeking. What attention would we get from that? I do it purely for my own pleasure in getting the right answer and learning if I get it wrong. Gee, maybe this is why I'm doing better that you assholes who say I'm attention seeking.

And another thing, group of girls who call yourselves the boob family, your game is stupid. And linking everything to sex? What are you trying to be, horny? And the whole class seems to
forget that the very person who was openly corrupt, yours truly, is not even that "corrupt".

I also hate it when we're discussing something and it diverts off to shit. It seriously gets on my nerves, you airheads. Always floating of to distant lands.

Also during open house, don't be such and asshole to tell other people to leave their cca and join dance. I'm in dance and all and I like it very very much but I'm not going to take the
risk to offend someone who is as devoted to their own cca. How moronic can you get? Where the hell are your EQ and your manners? Gosh.

Welcome I my life. Maybe I'll rant about other people next time. But sigh. I'm horrible at bearing grudges. Like really really bad.

My class is not actually a class. We're more of a clique of cliques.

Peace out

Emptiness of- screw it.

If you don't have any happy memories, we should make some now- Monster

I love reading Monster manga. <3

Anyway, I usually have nothing to rant about because I'm not a very quick-tempered person. But my dad really irritated me yesterday.

I went to Mandy's house with Christine Joelle and Mindy, and I was actually supposed to go Yunling's house but she had remedial so, oh well.

I told my mum and she was like, "Oh ok," an that was THAT. But my sad got all pissed because I only told mum. Why the hell can't I just tell mum?! I even told the maid the address so my dad would know where I am! He knows that address! And then, he called me multiple times afterwards, and I couldn't hear the phone ringing because it was fucking on the coffee table and we were in the dining room! And when I called back, I explained why I didn't pick up and he blew up! He asked me if it was his problem if the phone was let there. Well, dad, if you were trying to talk to me and the phone was not picked up, YES ITS PART OF YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM. And it doesn't stop there! He asks for my friend's house number, then he calls and I pick up and he's like, "why you answer?" FUCK YOU MAYBE BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY AT MANDY'S HOUSE?!

Ok screw this. It's almost like when he overreacted because I went to far east plaza. Dad, it's not exactly strewn with prostitutes in thongs and bras.
See my parents are so weird! Sigh. No wonder I'm a softie, my dad likes to beat me up.

Ok now let me spazzing a bit about Linkin Park <3 their songs are awesome, they describe how everyone feels inside. Naturally they're all negative. So unless you are a great ginormous fan of people like Taylor swift and Colbie Calilat, and a complete metal/ rap/ meaningful-not-always-about-love-and-heartbreak-shit hater, I don't think you'd like linkin park very much. But I've never came across a linkin park hater. Yet. There's always people out there to get you.
-insert nice water colour painting of blue words here-

So yep that all I have to say for now.

I Am Overly Perky

What's wrong with me being sad? Why are you so shocked about me being sad?

Just because I have a very natural and perpetual smile does not mean I'm perpetually in a good mood! Some people are just better at covering up sadness, you know? I'm a great actress I. That sense.

I feel empty a lot these days. Not a physical empty desire, just a gaping hole in my life that needs to be filled wih SOMETHING. I'm addicted to linkin park. I'm rolling linkin park all day and all night, it's really affecting my mood. And I feel like every song can describe me some how. I don't know. Their band is my favourite of all time. Hehehehe. Perhaps followed by The first one by boys like girl, and Last night by Keyshia cole feat. P. Diddy. That song is 10 years old and the best one ever.

Did you know that when I talk to a guy, who's like going through puberty and everything, I start talking about the shit girls don't talk about and they're like, "You're horny! Wow you're fun!" See? I should totally be a guy. This is really sad because the guys I like all treat me as their good horny female friend. Whoppee... ._. That really sucks balls.

Anyway, I'm going to Taiwan and Hongkong yay! My life is cool! ^^ but Yudi's going India and Samantha's going to adelaide so... My lovely holiday pales in comparison. :P my friend told me that in Taiwan we eat till we
Drop! Fine by me, I like eating, ^^! But I'm a little worried about dance physical training... Haish. I do like physical training anyway, it's super fun! Yay ^^ my life rocks. I don't even have to worry about the shot lost people worry about. Ok this is get in kinda bratty :p

Brendan why haven't you texted me?!?!

Peace out (;

Fucked over people of the world

My life, on many levels, does not suck. I have good friends. Ok parents, the kind who let you play with your friends and walk away. Cool mum who gets me what I want, 55% of the time... Yeah I guess my life is pretty awesome.

Ok I don't really have a boyfriend but I get what I want from a guy, if you know what I mean. I don't actually base a relationship on emotions and shit. Actually I'm in it for what most guys I'm in it for. I wonder if I was a guy in my pat life. Hmmmmm.

Anyway, love, Is very creepy on many many levels. I mean the kind of shit you would do
For an asshole! Wow. That is defInitly Fucked up. I'm sorry about the random caps. iPhone's a bitch. Love is so... Different to people, to one person love may be paying the other person's bills. Or cooking for them, or maybe even giving them space. It really annoys me when bitches who are in "love" for like what, 3 weeks start whining for the next 6 weeks. AND IT DOESN'T STOP THERE. The next phase is, I am a strong independent girl so don't mess with me! Girl , please! 6 fucking weeks ago you were suicidal! Thennnnn we have the, I may seem so strong now but I'm wailing for help from the "depths of your soul". Haha FUCK OFF. The world needs less losers like you. I used o be one of those dumb bitches. Well I know better now because I understood what I had back then wasn't live, at all. Geeez.

I should really read up on how to dump a guy. There's his asshole
Who still thinks he has a shot with me. After I blocked him on Facebook. I can see why Benjamin was so annoyed with me in my dumb bitch days.

But he cheated so he deserves it bloody fucker.

And I'm right. Everyone guy I've helped leaves anyway. But I don't mind, when they get screwed over again I'll see whether they can find any other bitch who'll listen to their shit without getting disgusted.

Yeah my blog is probably the only place where I can be openly vulgar. Its beautiful. (': an open hole in the vortex of Purity. Fuck is a wonderful world. Sound so nice. Like smock. Some words sound gross. Like sludge. And some sound awesome like scrumptious or scrummy or crunchy or sizzling. Whoa I'm hungry now.

Mmmmm I feel like bacon. I am always up for bacon ^^ bacon ftw.

Rant rant rant

I'm sick of it! Sick and tired of all the shit that wasn't supposed to happen. And it wasn't even that bad. I just need to blow it all off. The steam is just building up so just let me burst the balloon with this rant.

Let's start with the guys. Always guys, never girls because girls don't trust me, guys for some reason, do. I don't know why, maybe it's because they need a girl to talk to, but I'm not just talking about 1 guy I've heard venom from, I'm talking about 4 or 5, and considering the fact that most guys dot trust girl at all, that's quite a number.

I really don't mind listening, I do quite enjoy it, and I just listen and make them feel better and I feel like a great friend... Everyone wins, right?

Wrong fucking wrong.

Do you know that the people who listen to everyone's problems probably don't have anyone to turn to? And this may sound contradictory, but I'm impulsive, but I'm also a bottler, secrets, emotions, you name it, I keep to yours truly. The ones that impish out are the least of my worries. Why the heck would I tell you about shit you people can't fucking resolve? Waste of my time and just more gossiping for you people. Thank you very much.

And the impulsiveness? Purely because u act within the spur of the moment, except shopping. Cause I hate shopping. It's just my personality I suppose. Fast fast chop chop get it done.

Well anyway. What I was mad about was my friend. I gr lovely texts from him like "I'm heartbroken blah blah" and when I ask him questions to allow him to clear up
His thoughts, he asks me to fucking leave him alone. So I do. But I gt hurt anyway.

I never really questions why I made such fast friends with guys. I figured that all girls can be great friends with a guy. Maybe it's cause my dad was my main parent in my life.

You watch pornos? No prob dude I can take that, your girlfriend cheated on you and you are dying inside? Yeah it's cool I'll listen. You masturbate? Yeah I know. No disgust here. She's giving you default answers now? Yeah no worries bro maybe she's busy. She nice to you now? Great, all the best, pal. Wait, it may not last forever? I'll be your friend even though your fucktarded acsi friends will tease you.

Addicted to porn? It's ok, spill your horniness out, I ain't gonna tell nobody who you are, I'll try not I puke when you tell me that the shit you wath gets more hardcore by the day.

Girlfriend fucked you over? Tease me in tuition class? Can't tell your acsi friends because they'll tease you and call you a fag? Ask me what to do? I'll take the teasing, I won't even fucking confront the girl even though I know her personally. I'll even tell you why to do to gt her back, you're almost like your schoolmate in the paragraph before the one above.

Life sucks for you and everyone thinks you're a happy camper? I'll listen to your shit filled life and your love life which your mother destroyed, why? Because I was the only person to see past your happy angel exterior and see right through you. Who the fuck you really are. And of course, no one else knows.

The girl you like rejects you? Fine I'll stand in for you and tell how you feel for old times sake, and because you and the girl are my good friends. Can't top thinking about her before you sleep at night? It's ok, I'll teach ou how to forget the bad times with the previous girl, and you know what? It's ok dude, no One else will ever know who you are. You're just like your great SJI senior up there.

And of course, there's just me looking out for the people who trust me. Am I really that un-girl that you trust me so much? Do you even care about how I feel? I care of course, I want to understand, but have all of you taken that for granted?

Trust me, all of you will Only want to come and talk to me when everything has been fucked over and you need a shoulder to cry on, and for me to fix up the carnage that you yourself fucked over, even when I've told you or hinted to you for a million times, porn is good only if you don't get caught... She's brought you nothing but pain... You dont deserve this just walk away... Of course, it doesn't really matter does it?

There's really no need to be careful when you know someone will pick up the glass pieces for ou shattered, even though she knows she'll get hurt in the process.